Monday, December 3, 2012

Hoarders: Terry and Adelle

This is going to be both a dead cat and bucket episode this evening. So that's something to look forward to. I don't know where Hoarders has been, sometimes A&E just decides to take our beloved Hoarders away from us mid-season. Give them time to come up with some new death metal mood music. 

Did you know "hoarding" has officially made it into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders?

Terry the cashier from Hanover, Illinois
She likes cats because they are entertaining and she always thought the more the merrier and that is why, as you can see, her floor is made of cat feces.

Elaine is Terry's best friend. Well, she says she's one of Terry's best friends. Terry hasn't confirmed this, but they seem like legit friends. Speaking of non-legit friends, they should have a spin-off show called Real Housewives of the Hoard.

Dave is Terry's son. When he moved out he knew the cats were becoming a problem. Amber is Dave's girlfriend and she admires everything about Terry.

Terry was spaying every stray she had, but then the money ran out. And then they started breeding. And they keep pooping and playing on the poop and it is all too sad to even handle.

Terry's first loss was her father. She was there with him when he died and she feels like she was the one that caused it. So she started bringing in the cats to help them, but not really help them because she can't anymore.

She has a refrigerator full of dead cats as we were promised in the description. She's thinking she has 75-100...maybe more. She is keeping them with plans to cremate them.

Dr. Robin Zasio is here and I know she will handle this well because I remember her and Glen the rat man.

Zasio found the dead cat hoard in the fridge! She recoiled. She had been playing it pretty cool, talking softly in the poop until that moment.

"I can't even say anymore that I love animals because I treated them so horrible." -Terry
She just loved them wrong.

Patricia Norris and her veterinary forensics team is on the case. AND SO IS MATT PAXTON! He tells us we have tons of fecal dust so the team has to be in full masks. I would always be in full mask, but I'm not Matt Paxton. Speaking of, read this interview with him. It's pretty much amazing. You'll be inspired and learn the story of Matt. Also, I GOT MY GOLDEN POOP IN THE MAIL! It's on the tree now and I love it so very much. Order yours before they are gone. I will hoard it forever.
OH DEATH METAL CAT CATCHING! Nice touch, A&E. Way to ramp up the drama. We sure needed it.

Matt found a bagged up dead cat in the closet. Patricia tells us this isn't uncommon and that is a horrifying thought.

 49 cats came out of the house, the vets were able to save 18. Honestly, that is more than I expected.

Terry's fridge has more than just a dead cat collection. She has mice, bunny, chipmunks, squirrels, a cardinal. She's scooping up everything dead she can find.

Zasio and Matt are having her pull her own dead cats out of the fridge so she can see what she's done.

ANOTHER DAMN SHOCKING DISCOVERY IN THE FRIDGE. What next for God's sake!? There is liquid cat juice at the bottom of the fridge. By cat juice I obviously mean decomposed cat that has turned into liquid.  Matt says she's had enough of removing her own dead cats and Zasio is there to pick up the pieces.

Matt tells Terry she's beautiful because he doesn't want Mark to get all the hoarder attention.

"There really wasn't much trash in the house. All there was was dead cats, live cats, poop." -Matt Paxton

The team gave Terry an urn of cat ashes. And now they immediately want her to give up the urn of cat ashes! Oh, she's getting to pour them in the river. I just thought it was some weird "here are the ashes, but you can't have them or you fail" trick.

Robin knows that people are going to be angry because Terry is an animal hoarder. I say at least she is getting help.

(Do any of you watch Homeland? It has nothing to do with this episode or Hoarders, but I'd like to discuss how great it is and how dumb it was that I didn't start watching it sooner.)

Terry is working with a therapist and is doing well emotionally. She's being monitored by animal control and she hasn't acquired any more cats. Her downstairs is still clean and she's working on the upstairs.

Adelle from New Hampshire. God I hope this involves poop. It's so much better than dead cats.

"She's rolling in a deep hoard." -Scott

Adelle is a proud big time hoarder. She's kicky. I like her.

Mary is Adelle's daughter and she is fancy. Dirk is Adelle's oldest son and he's incognito in knock-off Ray-bans.

"Things have gotten out of hand as far as sanitation around here. I have a broken toilet. For the last year and a half I have been bailing water from the bathtub to the porcelain princess." -Adelle being charming as can be.

Dirk smells dumpsters for a living and according to him his mother's hoard smells worse than all of them. Okay, that's not his job. He was probably just saying that for effect.

"Is that guy playing poker? What's he doing?" -Scott on Dirk's sunglasses.

Her ex-husband used to tell her that "Orderliness is next to Godliness." Because he likes quotes, but doesn't like saying them properly.

Does it seem like Mary is sort of having fun? She always seems to be smirking.

Adelle is so jazzed to see Mark Pfeffer! Let's just admit it, we're all pretty jazzed. Adelle scrambled a couple eggs earlier in the day and she can do that in her hoard because she's taken micro-biology. She uses "sterile procedure". Mark has let us all in on the fact that she's talking like a career hoarder.

Adelle has a kitchen "slop bucket" it's a kitty litter bucket she found along the side of the road. So now it's her kitchen toilet.

Adelle just asked Mark if he was single! He refuses to answer that because he is a gentleman. She hit on Mark right before showing him a toilet filled with her crap and her trick for making it flush. She just lit up when Mark called her an expert at this remarkable skill.

Dorothy is here! I think her and Adelle should have some entertaining conversations.

Mary is cleaning like a maniac and Dirk is wearing shades, rubber gloves and drinking a beer.

Dirk is not going to help out. It wasn't his decision to do clean-up on the hottest day of the year, so leave him alone. He's just there to spectate.

Mary says that Adelle yells at her and it seems so shocking because Adelle seems so fun. That is...until...

Mark is using improv therapy. Adelle does not care for that one bit!

Dirk calls his own shots and he wants Dorothy to get used to it. If the sunglasses weren't indication enough, Dirk's going through some things.

Dirk has stormed off. Mark calls Adelle the priority and you just know that made her feel really special.

And they've given Adelle a makeover, home and person. She's thrilled. I think a great ending would be if Dirk removed his sunglasses.

Adelle is kind of continuing to hoard. She's addressing the issues with her therapist. No word on if her and Mark ever hooked up.


Jilyan from Boston said...

I know you saw my poop already but I just wanted to comment and say how much I love my poop too! And I bought Erin hers, but she doesn't have a tree yet. I keep harassing her to hurry up and show off her poop.


George and Maureen Johnson said...

Oh my, like i said when I worked for the shrinks was amazed at the list they got. Oh my word Kasey, you have no idea how many there are....Years ago they just locked them up and threw away the key. Extremely serious disorder, frightening. It is fascinating though I agree how they get locked into their thoughts on life, and things.
I couldn't work with them, I got too angry, and frustrated with them. I didn't want to, it was just I wasn't a compatible choice to work with them. I did so well with the agoraphobics, depressed, but with no hoarding tendencies. I am a lets just throw all this crap out, and move on type of person.

Anonymous said...
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BSOB said...

hmmm, cat poop floors - maybe a good material.. home depot should investigate this possibility. its a renewable resource.. has some the the RRR's. cats prob wouldn't give a sh@t - or they prob would! whatever the case, i think it would be a sturdy product

Reverend Awesome said...
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