Monday, March 5, 2012

Hoarders: Anna and Claire and Vance (Vance Refridgeration)

Anna, Florida. Anna works in health care.

 Know that the next time you're at the doctor's office. You could be getting an exam from someone that they may go home and crap in a bucket. Something to keep in mind.

Black hoarders! Shout out to, Leslie.

She's from South America and lived in England for 20 years. Then she made the pilgrimage to Florida, America's penis. 

Natasha is Anna's daughter. She describes her family as "astute".

Anna wouldn't let anyone in the house. Her sister and niece broke into her house while she was at work. Her daughter has tears in her eyes describing that day.

Anna's neighbor is a rat! She called Anna and told her that someone was breaking into her house. Let it happen, neighbor! What sort of enabler are you? You have to know she's living in hoard. There's no way you never saw the piles of hoard through the windows. The cops called Anna at work and asked if she knew her sister...she said she didn't and her sister was arrested. Anna finds this HILARIOUS. The cops let them off with a warning and the battle begun. A war was waged.

Anna's family has threatened to call some acronym on Anna. Well she doesn't respond to threats so screw you guys!

She's kind of creeping me out with her laughing and her declaring herself invincible. It seems she is the master of psychological warfare.

The hoarders tonight think they are sooo smart.

ZASIO! Once again, looking too good for the hoard.

"My roof is not supposed to be like that." Anna describing the hole in her roof.

Matt Paxton, extreme hoarding specialist, on the case WITH ZASIO! Pulling out the big guns tonight. Things start out with a fight.

Anna will kick ass if she has to. If you came from Anna's vagina she feels she has every right to kick your ass.

This family makes the best faces. I will say, this family does sound astute as they are shouting for each other to shut up. It's the accent.

Anna was practicing her "Mohammed Ali punch" on her daughter. Her words, not mine.
Natasha is not tip toeing anymore. She's cleaning and running around shouting out an anti-hoarder tirade.
Matt calls his crew out so they don't have to be around the craziness.
Natasha and her Mom are getting together, post-cleanup to try to work it out. I don't think this is going to work out...

"You need to go to therapy."
Group hug. Anna has been working with a therapist and organizer. Her family organized weekly garage sales to keep clearing her home. Natasha has let her kids stay with the grandma on weekends.

Clare and Vance (from Vance Refrigeration)—Chicago, IL
Clare is a reader, aspiring writer and she collects a shit load of books.
Vance also likes to make love to books. 

"I love you" and "Timber" the two most commonly used phrases at the Claire and Vance household.

Vance says he has a 200+ IQ. Vance is out of his giant mind. I have a feeling this Hoarders is going to be chock full of mind games this evening. I'm guessing he's a condescending asshole. Let's watch and find out!

Vance was diagnosed with a heart condition. That made him question their book hoarding lifestyle.

I've seen hoarded out cars! That's how the city figured out Clare was a hoarder. Their car hoard.

V+C knew each other 18 days before they got married. When you find someone that pervs on books like you do, you don't let them slip away. A few weeks after they got married, as if it was written in the stars, there was a book sale. He brought home a couple shopping bags and Claire's pupils dilated, her knees shook and something magical happened.

They decided, "To hell with appliances! We'll move our books in." 

Looks like we'll have Chabaud and Dorothy Breininger are going to try to set the smarties straight.

You know what I find shocking? Claire has had a friend that's hung on since high school.

I love watching Dorothy boss people around. I really do.

Vance isn't helping at all. He's calling the clean-up "entertainment". Dorothy is not gonna hear that. Vance is a total dick.

"I told my friends, 'As long as I don't run out of sawed off shotgun ammunition, everything should be just fine.'" -Vance to Dr. Chabaud. That was scary. I don't understand it, but I'm scared.

Dorothy is laying down the law with Claire. She demands to know where Vance is, why he's not helping with the clean-up. Well, he's busy, sitting in the car being smarter than everybody ever.

All of a sudden Vance thinks he's his own psychologist. He says he used to think all the answers were in books, but now he knows that's not the case. Get out of here, Vance! Dr. Chabaud and Dorothy already knew that. Just because you said it doesn't mean they didn't already know it.

They removed 10 tons worth of books from the house. 

Dorothy and the 800 Got Junk crew made Claire happier than Vance's book bags ever could. 

Claire and Vance are "extremely motivated" and have been working with a therapist and aftercare organizer. They've given away 4,000 more books, cleared 2 more rooms and are working on their front porch.


BSOB said...

Which state is Americas Vag?

Reverend Awesome said...

Wyoming. (You know, Jackson Hole and all.)

George and Maureen Johnson said...

Saw these two last night, amazing. Now you know why I said in no way will I ever work with hoarders...bwhahahhaha!

Reverend Awesome said...

I do not blame you ONE BIT for that.

Leslie said...

Not just Black hoarders! Crazy Black hoarders! The best freaking kind! I guarentee after the cameras stopped rolling, someone's ass got beat.

Anonymous said...

Natasha has a really big butt. Seriously, you'd never know it by looking at her from the neck up.

Anonymous said...

They should deport Anna, send her filthy ass back to where she came from!

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