Tuesday, January 24, 2012

WWKD? Sex with Semi-Strangers Edition

I keep sleeping with men and then being shocked and disappointed when they don't like me.

I mean, not every night, not every week, not even every month.  A couple times a year.  I meet a guy, I feel like we have this AMAZING connection.  There is drinking involved.  But not a TON. But there it is.

Eyes meet.  We laugh and have a million things to talk about.  THIS IS IT, this is my moment, this is the part in the movie where the girl finally gets the guy.  It's magical.

So I sleep with him and what do you know, he doesn't give a flying fck about me the next day.

I know what I have to do.  Stop drinking and stop sleeping with strangers.

DUH, I know.

I guess I am more concerned with the fact that every guy I meet that I think I have a connection with, I think he's The One and all common sense takes a flying fcking leap out the window.

I met this guy on Saturday.  At a restaurant bar while my friends and I were waiting for a table.  He was in town on business.  (I know, I know, but this is a real story, not a Lifetime movie!)  We TOTALLY hit it off from minute #1.  Flirting, talking.  I was feeling pretty good.

He said all the right things, made all the right compliments and sounded 100% sincere.  So I threw caution (and intelligence) to the wind and went to his hotel room.  Of course the next morning he says he'll call me.

A few days pass.  Nothing.

So I texted him and said, I was kinda hoping to see you again!  His response, "yeah sorry not gonna happen".

How am I ever going to tell the difference between guys who are really nice and those who are like HIM.  And the guy before him.  And the one before HIM.  Also am struggling with feelings of sluttiness and guilt.  I am a HOT MESS.

WWKD?  Besides not sleep with strangers?


I get this. You're feeling it, he's feeling it, you have sex. But the whole experience leaves you feeling guilty and bad. That's not a good way to feel. You deserve better than that! I demand that you demand better than that! So, for the sake of your own sanity slow things down a bit. A lot of jerks can pull off charming if they just have to hide their assholery for a night. Don't let someone that's not worth it make you feel like a bad person! Make them prove they can remain non-jerks for a bit. Maybe set a certain amount of time you have to spend in their presence before they've proven they're worthy of you. Hell, tell them about it. If they think you're a weirdo and want no part of it, well screw them! But don't screw them. That's the point.

Your words and hopes are not that of a slut. They're the hopes of a romantic, looking for Mr. Right. You want this guy to be the one, but you don't really know him yet. So all your ideas of what he is are the ideals of Mr. Right you have in your head. He hasn't done anything to prove to you that he's any of these things. Make him show you why you shouldn't be telling him, "Sorry, not gonna happen."

You're worth the wait. If you can't convince yourself of that than do it for me! Creepy...

But really, do it for yourself. You'll see. I promise. Have fun! Go on dates! Then have crazy fun sex with a non-stranger! Happy times.

Sometimes, not often, people want my advice. If you are ever feeling like you'd like some advice email me at helpmekasey@gmail.com! Good luck out there, everybody.


Gary's third pottery blog said...

funny, i was reading about this recently, how hotel bars have this rep. for the out of towners looking for quick nookie...... golly, there are times when you are glad to be married to the sexy hawt wife and don't have to think about all this sh!t....

BSOB said...

i agree with Kaso, the waiting time a guy or girl chooses to go through before having sex will answer a lot of those questions about the quality of person you're dealing with..

My call is about 2 to 3 weeks before sex.

BSOB said...

guys love the wait and chase also.

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