Monday, January 2, 2012

Hoarders: Norman and Linda

Welcome to 2012 and welcome to a new season of Hoarders! I hope you all have had a lovely holiday season. I'm ready to get back to business here on the internet.

Norman, good balance-haver and Buffalo Bill impressionist 
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Norm is Norm's Dad, he feels responsible for his son's hoarding, he's in the antique business. Antique collecting is such a slippery slope to hoarding. For real. Be careful when you decide you're going to start collecting antiques, don't start COLLECTIONING antiques.

The hoarding spiraled out of control when his live-in girlfriend, Jeneveve got into an accident. They don't say what exactly the accident was so that makes me think it was alcohol related. She was agoraphobic so they just stayed in the house, drank booze and ordered shit off TV. (Matt Paxton has warned us all about the dangers of HSN.) Jeneveve started having seizures, brought on by her alcoholism. She got sick, but they didn't go to the doctor. Norman couldn't carry her out of the hoard, paramedics had trouble getting to her. When they saw her they told Norman she had been dead for a long time. That was 7 weeks ago, now the city is scheduled to condemn his house.

Dr. Melva Green! I kind of love her blue eyeshadow. She has mixed feelings about it.

Cory Chamlers is on clean-up and additional support, as the clean-up crew is never just the clean-up crew on Hoarders.

Norman has locked himself in his mini-van...with the window down so the lock is just ceremonial.
Dr. Green convinces him to unlock himself and rejoin the clean-up.

Norman's mom, Joan, hasn't been to his house for 8 years. She is just standing around crying, Dr. Green makes her admit to herself that she has been avoiding her son.

There are empty booze bottles and bottles of pee where his girlfriend both slept and died. Never like to see a pee bottle, especially in this situation.

Norman is totally having a breakthrough. He's now cleaning like a mad man. He's super-charged by his family's love. He's hugging Chamlers, telling him he'll forever be a part of his life. Hugging Dr. Green. He's currently living with his parents, meeting with a therapist and a biohazard crew came and cleaned up

Linda, she's not in the best of health and neither is her house
Madisonville, Louisiana

Linda's sons, Andre (42) and Shawn (also a middle-aged man), both live with her. One moved out for awhile, but he's back. They both contribute to her hoarding. Get the hell out of your mom's house! Shawn has an iMac sitting on top of hoard. A Mac deserves better.

When did the hoarding spiral out of control we must always ask ourselves? 12 years ago when Linda's husband died.

Dr. Chabaud is on the case.

What made Linda want to change her hoarding ways? She fell and realized that if she needed help the EMT wouldn't be able to get her. She has put off a surgery because she knew she would need a home healthcare aid and if they saw her house they would turn her in and she would be homeless.

Linda's sister is anti-funk and Linda's pretty funky. At least I think she was saying "funk".

We've uncovered Linda's secret obsession. What is it!?'s pots and pans. I get that you want to build up the drama A&E, but calling it a "secret" obsession makes it seem like it will be something torrid, not pots and pans. Her son asks her if she wants to live with pots and pans or people...maybe that's it. She's trying to hoard her sons out of the house. She'll never rid herself of those boys, they're living-with-Momma lifers.

At the end of the day, Linda loves her some pots and pans. She's seeing a therapist and will maybe see a family therapist in the future. 


Gary's third pottery blog said...

I have heard that some people become antiques dealers because of all the junk they have collected, but maybe its the sh!tting in the bucket that seperates the hoarders from the dealers ;)

Reverend Awesome said...

There's the distinction right there. You can't be a reputable antique dealer and shit in a bucket.

Erin from Boston said...

norman was definitely a buffalo bill impressionist. was anyone else disturbed by the giant wiggly vein on his temple? that thing was like a car wreck. i didn't want to look but i couldn't stop.

now i'm off to think about the item that i would like to be my "secret obsession" when i'm asked would you like to live with your ____ or people. cardboard boxes has been done already. maybe dryer lint or splenda packets would make a nice collection.

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