Monday, November 7, 2011

Hoarders: Judy & Jerry

If Matt Paxton isn't a main feature this episode I will be really disappointed. So will Erin. Let's be honest, we'll all be pissed. It won't just be me and Erin. I know there are more of you out there that think Paxton was wasted on cats.

Judy, Wisconsin
Judy is a retired hospice care nurse. That job would be so hard. Much like hoarding clean up crews, I don't know how they do what they do.

A year ago Judy was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer and she could no longer live in her house because it was too dirty. Her friend Linda let her live with her so she could get well. So far she's been there 9 months. She's hoarding up her friends house. OH JUDY! Don't take advantage of dear Linda.

Molly doesn't want anything to do with her mom Judy. She grew up in the hoard and she is done with this hoarding. When she was 8 her and her brother were removed from the home. She calls her mom "Judy". So, you know things are bad. When you stop calling your mom, "mom" you know you have a bad relationship.

Molly ran away. She had the clothes on her back and she left. Then her son died in a tragic car accident. At that point Judy just gave up. Molly says reverted back to baby behavior.

"The wreck of the Hesperus?" That's what Judy is calling her daughter's former room. Claiming she can't call her a hoarder because her room used to be messy. I've never heard that phrase. That's gotta be some Midwest lingo. We say some weird shit here. You don't notice until you go somewhere else and someone makes fun of you.

Mark PFHEFwer is here. He's confronting Judy about the fact that she hasn't used the kitchen for 7 years. He's getting all deep about emotional blocks and stuff. High level therapist talk.

Why is Judy reading a recipe book like it's a novel?

Jerilynn Thomas is on clean-up duty. God speed, Jeri.

Judy's checked out. She's just sitting on a chair spacing off in the middle of the porch. She says this is usually the time she takes a nap. And there she goes. She's taking a nap while sitting in a lawn chair on her porch with her hand on an urn.

Posted by the Possom from Hoarders
Judy will not accept her hoards impact. OH MY GOD SHE HAS SO MUCH YARN! And I bet it all smells like pee. You can't craft with pee yarn. What a shame.


Judy gave Molly a ship of her father's. It was a very touching and special moment. By the end she told her daughter she was sorry and she's accepted aftercare funds. 

Their relationship is still strained, but you'll have that. 

Jerry from Eugene, OR
Jerry is both a property owner and a landlord. He owns 50 properties so he is hoarding supplies and weird dramatic music. What is Hoarders doing with this music?! This is semi-uptempo, but still dramatic.


what up Posse. In the 8 years of cleaning hoarded homes, I've never gotten sicker than I did in this house.


Jerry's house caught fire in the middle of the night. He believes it was started by a tenant that wanted him dead. He almost died because he couldn't maneuver through the hoard.

Jerry's sister Karen is sad because Jerry is "drowning in a sea of worthless junk". He saved her life growing up and now she wants to save his. Guess what he saved her from? Oh that's right, drowning.

Jerry is living sans cats so we should get a lot of Paxtonator. Thank god! A&E, don't waste Paxton on cat cases! Just don't. Also, in case you didn't know, Paxton has a podcast.

Jerry is pretty sure that his house just needs sheet rock. That's why he's not bulldozing the house. The floor is totally rotted and still wet from when the fire was put out 5 years ago.

"We used to go Easter egg hunting and she'd run around and get all the Easter eggs. I feel you like to have all the Easter eggs in your basket and you like me to basically be sitting there and have an empty basket."


Jerry is pissed at his sister because she got an inheritance from her Dad and he didn't. He thinks Karen set that up. This is making me think that maybe Jerry thinks everyone is out to get him and the fire was an accident. No one is out to kill him or find all the Easter eggs. (Except Karen, we all know she's an egg hound. 

This therapist is calling Jerry a phoenix rising from the ashes. That seems like a bit of a premature statement.



Matt Paxton One-Liner Hoard
"Your plans outweigh your lifetime."
"The dude it furious. It starts with Easter eggs and you don't get over it. That's how hoarding starts."
"I don't know that we totally averted the crisis. We made it better."
"This house has been burnt to a crisp."

By the end Jerry cleaned a couple more feet of ashes out of his crispy home. He's convinced he will be able to move back in and has INTENTIONS of going to see a therapist. LIKE A PHOENIX! 

7 comments:

Gary's third pottery blog said...

OH GOD it starts with EASTER EGGS???????????

Kasey Baker-VerMulm said...

That's right, easter eggs. I have to say, I'm not surprised.

miss.e.motional said...

"By the end Jerry cleaned a couple more feet of ashes out of his crispy home." HAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAA. Omg Kasey, you so funny. xo

miss.e.motional said...

PS - I've never heard of "The Wreck of Hesperus" either.

You should do a post on weird Midwestern sayings. I say "spendy" all the time but have heard it's not really a word outside of Minnesota..do you use it??

Kasey Baker-VerMulm said...

Excellent idea!
I don't use spendy. I don't think I've ever heard the term.

I do use the word "cripes". The other day I said it and I was questioned if anyone under the age of 80 other than me uses it. I think they do!

Erin from Boston said...

Kasey, I am giddy that I got a shout out in a Hoarders recap!!!!

Though true this episode did have Paxton, he was sent to the wrong house. He would have been all over that pee yarn. For sure he could have set Judy and her hoard of the hesperus straight.

Jerry's house was burned so badly it needed to be leveled. There's no clean out or salvage when your house is toast. The yard was pretty packed.

Wasted Paxton time and no Zasio. Speaking of Zasio, I watched her Extreme Animal Phobia show. She's not messing around with these phobia people! It was great watching a grown man cry about having to touch a puppy.

Anonymous said...


The Wreck of the Hesperus is a famous story/poem about a shipwreck, idiots. It's not Midwest slang. And Wisconsin is not the mid-west. It's North-central. None of you thought to even look it up before you commented? Wow.

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