Monday, August 8, 2011

Hoarders: Whatever Happened to Clare and Becky

Hey HOARDERS fans! The all new episode starts at 9/8c! Hurry up and clean your house before it begins!

14 minutes ago via HootSuite ·  · 

A&E knows a lot of people clean after or while watching Hoarders. They're using their powers to make a cleaner America! It's not just the people on TV they are helping, it's all of us. We don't need to keep garbage, dead cats and make bad decisions all the time. Let's not live in urine and feces. We need to do this for America and Matt Paxton! Thank you, Hoarders.

Now, let's get into the ole' 16 storage garages lady. Bring in Storage Wars! Cross-promotion! Reminder: Hoarders is Emmy nominated and hoarding is a mental disorder. 

Becky, Collegeville, PA
"Right now I have too much stuff." admits Becky. We all know how hard ornate tables are to get rid of, well she has a lot of those so obviously this causes problems. 

First tenant to occupy 16 storage units at one given time! WOO HOO! World record. 

Becky became homeless because she had too many storage units and not enough money to pay for all of those storage units. She's now living with her son and his fiance, Michelle. Oh wow. Michelle must really love him a lot to deal with Becky moving in with them. Becky pretty much crapped all over their townhouse. It kinda seems like her son is afraid to tell his Mom to move out. "Michelle has given her an ultimatum." Yeah, well it's your mom so how about you give her one. 

Becky's gotta sell her hoard. Becky doesn't want to sell her hoard because it all means too much and memories have to be something she holds in her hands instead of her brain. Her father didn't like her or want her. So, her grandmother rescued her and took her to live in her home. Later she lost her son and she's given up.

Who is this Dr. Kutz? We haven't met him before, have we?

"Just because something is broken you don't always throw it away. But that's what people do with people." -Becky 
She seems to believe that because the units wouldn't have been rented if she wasn't there, she shouldn't have to pay for her storage units. 

Dorothy Breninger, clean-up expert has a toned down version of Clare's look. Try harder next time, Dorothy! Dorothy is about ready to quit this bitch! Who is she calling for reinforcements? Walter, the storage unit dude. He's gotta lay down the law. Really, the only person not laying down the law on her is her son. 

"There's an ice cream scoop. That goes with my dragons. I had my wooden dragons. That goes with my dragon! Don't scream at me!" -Becky to Michelle, Michelle the saint. And Becky threatened to stick some hoard up Michelle's ass. 

Becky currently lives with a distant relative. She took back most of her items from the auction house and only earned $650. Michelle is free!! Walter hasn't filed for any back payment.

Clare, West Palm Beach, FL
FASHION! She has on her fashion face! Purple eye shadow, cheeks covered in rouge and red lips. She has her hair up in a fashion bun. 

Clare has been living with friends until her house becomes livable. She received a letter, a CERTIFIED letter, telling her she had 10 days to clean up everything. 

Dean is Clare's son, Denise is Dean's girlfriend. She tells us that the neighbors call her "Slumdog Millionaire" for having a beautiful house with a pool and lives like she's in the slums. She lives in the back of her home with Dean in a shed. It seems like a pretty bold move to talk crap about Clare when you're living in her backyard in a shed. Talk about the pot calling the other pot that craps in a bucket black.

Back in the day, Clare danced on tables. Then within a 6 month span of time her husband, Father and Mother die. 

Dean intends to move in with his mother after she gets the house clean. 

"Old newspapers as far as the eye can see. Clare's cafe is a make-shift outdoor kitchen with a warm refrigerator that smells like a dead cat." Freaking weirdo Denise's poetry about Clare

Clare is not a big poetry fan. (Me either. Unless it rhymes!) That's her classy ass way of putting it. KICK HER ASS, CLARE!

Matt is here. Oh him and Clare will have a splendid time together. Know that. 

Clutter Cleaners have all been ordered by Mad Pax to always say "Yes, Ma'am." He is so excited about all the work they are going to have to do. What a little weirdo he is! 

Clare has taken some medication, some pills, and she's pretty out of it. She's a pill-popper! Good for her. Her son and his ladyfriend make me wanna pop pills. 

Matt asked Clare if her Deloreon was more important than 80% of her stuff, her response, "sure". She must love that car. 

Dean and Denise haven't helped at all. They've been in the shed the entire time. Oh, she wasn't allowed to throw away tools. She's hoarding to keep those idiots out of the house! KEEP DEAN AND DENISE OUT, Clare. I beg of you Clare. You will shine without them. 

Denise sold a portrait? Clare is working with aftercare to move back into her home. Dean and Denise remain in the shed. 

Matt Paxton One-Liner Hoard Treasure Collection:
"Everyone is going to say, 'Yes, ma'am. Not cuz you're old. You are old, but it's not because you're old. Alright. It's because we appreciate you and respect you." 
"Clare's out of it man. We can not remove items from someone that is medically not aware."
"'I've got an art job to do today.' What the hell does that mean?"
"This whole family has just gotten into this lazy Sunday syndrome and they've been coasting for 12 years."
"We have a lot of work we have to do tomorrow. I'm not very hopeful."
"We have put a bandaid on a broken leg." 


Random Visitor said...

This episode was crying out to be a three-way A&E crossover with Storage Wars and Intervention, because you cannot tell me that some illicit things weren't going on in that shed that kept Dean and Denise occupied all day. He seemed way more interested in getting his mom's house clean so he could stop living in a shack than because he was concerned for her health, anyway. Not that I can blame him, but he wasn't even putting any effort into pretending he was worried for his mother.

I can't believe she had a god damn DeLorean in her yard. Do you have any idea how much I wanted one of those during my highschool years, Clare?

Becky's situation made me sort of sad. Unloved by her own parents, evicted from the house she grew up in, now forced to get rid of all her beloved grandmother's keepsakes. Her obsessing over minutiae must have been infuriating to deal with all weekend, though.

Gary's third pottery blog said...


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AmyB said...

My most favoritest, favoritest part of all was when Clare fell down. No one rushed to her side as she lay there in what appeared to be either a tangle of brambles or a collection of rusted barbed wire. Matt P calmly said, as only he can, "Time out," as Clare spryly picked herself up off the ground. Loved this moment. I believe this to be my favorite Hoarders moment of all time. And you know how hard it is to pick just one.

Reverend Awesome said...

Clare just bounced back up! I think Clare might be my favorite hoarder ever. I'd like to hang out with her, drink martinis and pop pills.
Dean and Denise are ruining her. I hope she stays far, far away from them. I'm pretty sure their shed/home is a meth lab. Of course Clare didn't want to clean if it meant those gross-os would be moving into her manor.

AmyB said...

I def did not trust Dean and Denise. I felt they were up to no good out there in that shed. They only wanted to clean the house so they could have a free place to live, as they were laid off "due to the recession." I think Clare would be better off living with the hoard than with those 2.
I do wish we'd gotten a glimpse of Denise's portrait...

Erin from Boston said...

i had to record last night. based on the blog and these comments I CAN NOT WAIT to watch this episode. work can't end soon enough for me today!

Jyl said...

I actually think Clare was just planking.

Leslie said...

I don't know which was funnier, the episode, this blog, or the comments! LOL

The Brandenburgs said...

What was Clares past profession? I can't figure out what she said? Just saw pics of her on a bar or something! For sure one of the best hoarders ever, but I was sad for Becky too. Can't imagine losing my childhood home and almost all the belongings. What a rough childhood and then to have her son die. So sad, but she telling her future daughter in law where she can put a pot was priceless!!

sweetzombieducky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sweetzombieducky said...

The Bette Davis pic earns you a long, slow clap. I think I may have inhaled Coca Cola into my brain.

Do you watch the TLC show? It seems as though some of the A&E doctors have migrated onto that show. David Dia has been rampant all over that show, and now the beardy dude whose mother was a hoarder is over there. THEY'RE CROSSING THE STREAMS.

Leslie said...

I hate the TLC one, because they don't really force them to give away anything. They are just like "whatever"

Reverend Awesome said...

TLC is crossing the streams with A&E's sloppy seconds! We all know crossing the streams is bad!

I've watched the TLC show a couple times, it felt like I was cheating on Hoarders!

FRA said...

I've seen a lot of Intervention episodes but somehow the shed couple gave me more chills than the junkies they show there. It was clear the shed couple were both on heroin and perhaps also alcohol. Poor Clare, I really felt bad for her.

miss.e.motional said...

Becky was such a bitch! I had trouble feeling sorry for her. That's probably because I'm a bitch, too.

I loved Michelle. She can do better than whateverhisnameis, Becky's son. He needs to grow a pair.

OMG Clare was maybe my favorite, too. She is so Bette Davis in "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane which" I JUST watched for the first time ever, amazing. Doppleganger.

Dean and Denise were awful, awful and creepy and I am kind of curious as to what kind of "art" she does.

Keep up the good work, my dear friend.

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