Monday, July 25, 2011

Hoarders: Carol & Ron

It's Monday so that means it's Hoarders. It's nice to start up the week.

Ron, Cali, retired school teacher
Is it just my imagination or are a lot of these hoarders teachers? Is there a link between teaching and hoarding?! (just kidding, teachers)

90% of Ron's book and comic collection is believed to be, by Ron, worth money.

Ron heats his house by leaving his stove on. He doesn't see this as a fire risk because he's decided America is engaged in a conspiracy to convince you things are a fire hazard, but they're actually not. I can see America doing something like that. It's totally the type. Sure he's living in a home packed to the ceiling with paper. Damn the man!
His wife left him due to his collecting. She left him 12 years ago and it sent him into a depression. And now we know why he hoards, "It's a kind of depression so deep that you submerge it and bury it so that it never comes up, if it does it will destroy you." His daughter had to leave the house because of his anger problems, directed at her. Oh and Ron has prostate cancer. Jeepers. You know what though, Ron. That doesn't mean you get free reign to be a dick to your daughter.

"All this mess doesn't bother me enough—to get me off my duff—to clean it." Ron, hoarder poet


Ron believes they are trying to shove something up his keister. Politicians need to start saying that. I'm getting bored with hearing everything is getting shoved down everyone's throat.

*Hoarders brought to you by AirWick. Hide your stink with the fresh scent of flowers!

Cory Chamlers is handling Roy. So...a Zasio/Paxton episode?!! Finally!? Oh, Cory has some interesting facial hair this episode. Was that a dare?

Ron's ex is here to check out the haps and be stunned. To leave her daughter to deal with that, I guess.
He is not nice to her. Not one bit. He thinks she's upset because she's worried about him handling the beaurocrats. He says he's "kinda happy." He is blaming "what's between her ears" on her being unhappy. Not his fault at all...he's a nasty mean man!

Ron gave his daughter his aftercare funds, probably the nicest thing he's ever done for her.

Carol—Compulsive hoarder living in Dayton, Ohio
That's how she describes herself. At least Ron knows himself as a retired school teacher.

Carol and her daughter are voice twins and it's really creepy. She might be a . . . little person. Is that the problem term?  She's for sure a biker babe. She has a bandana and a Choppers shirt.

Smokey is Carol's best friend possible sex partner? I don't know, they look like there's some chemistry. He is sort of nonchalant about the fact that his BFF sleeps in a truck. Carol forces her cat Stryper to sleep in her truck with her.

In 1996 tragic events happened Her dad was in an accident, then her step dad had a massive heart attack, her grandma had a stroke. This was all in a 2-3 month span of time so she got super depressed and quit cleaning.

Robin Zasio is on the case. She speaks so gently. Like how people talk in dreams. This sort of voice soothes the hoarders.

The last time Carole prepared a meal in her home was '98. Over a decade ago, no big deal. You aren't surprised she says, "warshed" are you? Me either. "Let's me and you go on rides in the truck. Fuck it." Carol

Carol didn't seem too feisty when this episode started. That was all a ruse.

"We got the dream team! We got Smokey and myself and Dr. Zasio."

There has not been enough Paxton/Zasio. At all. Paxton offered to take his shirt off to get Carol to leave. She didn't accept that. "If you acknowledge me I'll give you $20 cash. $20 cash and I'll take my shirt off." She did not acknowledge the Paxtonator.

Carol thinks Zasio is soo hoity toity. If she has a table that's covered in rat excrement, she'd just go buy a new one. She thinks she's better than everyone!

"Have we cleaned up the house? Kind of. Have we done what the inspector wants? Maybe. Have we dealt with Carol's hoarding. Not really. I don't think Carol's going to change." M.P.

9 comments:

Random Visitor said...

I liked how Carole had this thing hanging in her home that said "WHEEZER - the space age toy you can't throw away!" Maybe everything is a Wheezer to Carole.

I was happy that Ron gave his aftercare funds to his daughter. I wonder if he did that completely of his own volition or if the doctor brought it up to him after hearing her despairing about not having money to see a therapist. Whatever the case, I'm glad she's getting some help now. Poor kid.

sweetzombieducky said...

I was so disappointed that Carol walked away as Matt was about to lay the verbal smackdown on her. I actually screamed "Nooooooo" as she turned her back on him.

Reverend Awesome said...

HAHA! I think you have cracked the Carol code! To her everything is Wheezer. Brilliant.

Carol gave Matt zero opportunities to lay down the tough love on Carol. It was quite upsetting. Your scream is totally justified.

Jyl said...

Cory was actually cute before this facial hair nonsense. Now he looks like an old lumberjack.

LOVE LOVE LOVE that Matt referred to them as the dream team. He knows we love them!!

Mariska Hargitay would make a good psychiatrist too. She's got the same kinda voice as Zasio.

Erin from Boston said...

carol turned down the opportunity of a lifetime. when matt paxton offers you cash money and a strip tease, you DO NOT refuse. i repeat DO NOT refuse.

Reverend Awesome said...

Matt gave Carol an offer she shouldn't have been able to refuse. That's how bad things have gotten for her! She's refusing a striptease and cash $ from Mad Pax. So sad.

Ozark Mountain Cats said...

I want to adopt Ron's daughter. I felt/feel so sorry for her. As far as Carol goes i don't have a bit of pity. I'd adopt her cat too. It deserves a decent home.

Reverend Awesome said...

Ron is such a dick! His poor daughter has had to deal with his abuse for so long, I'm glad she told him off. That had to feel good. And him saying he was pretty happy? Well, F you! You've robbed your kid of a childhood. I hope she goes onto great things and leaves her Dad in the dust/hoard.

Anonymous said...

Zasio is the fakest, most obvious, most annoying person I've encountered. I guess anyone can be a doctor nowadays.

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