Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Excerpt from Waking the Dead

There's something that I think
I should tell you all.
I'm not feeling very well.
I haven't been for a while.
Something inside me has jumped the track.
I'm confused.
I'm not thinking right.
I'm not sleeping right.
Just don't think I am complaining
about this...
...or asking for your help...
...because there's nothing anyone can do.
It's happened and that's it.
I don't know what I'm going to say
from one minute to the next.
I really don't.
I don't know what I'm going to say,
or what I'm going to do.
Do you understand?
I know this is coming at a bad time
for everyone...
...but there's nothing I can do about that.
I'm tired and I'm....
I don't see things the way that I used to.
Everything...
...everything, everything
is fucking strange...
...and it's all completely out of control...
...and I'm frightened.
Maybe if you all
could give me some real help...
...and not your pity or generosity,
but some help.
Take a look at me.
I know I'm ruining everything,
but if I don't say this, I may never say it.
Everything's going fast. It's going
very fast. It's completely out of control.
If I don't say it today,
tomorrow may be too late.
I may be too crazy to even know
how crazy I am.
I don't know what to do!
I don't know what to do!
Something has happened to me,
and I'm very lost!
And it doesn't stop. It's not getting better.
I don't get better. I'm not getting better.
It's just going on, and it's going on.
And there's nothing that I can do about it.
It's not stopping!
It's not stopping.          
Stupid.      
I'm fine.   
I feel better.
Thanks. I'm okay.
Don't worry. I'll be okay. I'm sorry.

6 comments:

Knight said...

This would be a great monologue.

miss.e.motional said...

Don't be sorry. Do what you have to do. Love you! (Is that too forward? :))

Reverend Awesome said...

It's not too forward! Love being sent back your way. Thanks for listening to me and my barrage of crap.

George and Maureen Johnson said...

Kasey you are awesome, and we adore and love you totally. Know that! :) Don't ever be sorry for being yourself, that is what makes you so awesome.
I love all my real close fb friends, can say anything, anytime, and he love just flows and flows, always, and everywhere.
Anytime, anywhere, we are with you! We can be annoying, but we are two old geezers looking for great friends, and we found them. YOUR AWESOME!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

I am reminded of that song from Blink 182, (Paranoia is the title I think) and he is saying "I'm not sick but I'm not well".
Best wishes Kasey. Hang in there, I really hope things settle down a bit!

Reverend Awesome said...

Thanks, everybody! You are all so great.

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