After that I asked if I could interview him. He said I could! YES! I asked him what he wanted to talk about, I was told I could ask about whatever I want. Well I'll think of the most important questions EVER! This is a no-holds-barred interview. I grabbed the computer, typed up some questions and passed the computer back to Scott. Here you go, an interview with Scott. Enjoy.
First things first, how great am I!?
Very great. Just ask the internet.
Could you tell me why it is that the hockey season never seems to end?
If only hockey never ended, there would be no wars. Also, it's because it is the best sport. Even better than golf, whose season literally never ends.
I've known you were funny since before I met you. You know, that time you were funny in Juice and trying to steal my hilarious thunder without even knowing me. You remember. So, why are you so funny? Part two of this question. How does one get so brave that they want to stand up in front of people and try to make them laugh?
Apparently i wasn't THAT funny in Juice. Joe Lawler only calls me by mistake.
I'm funny because I convince people I am. Trust me, that's funny.
When I die and "Stand Up Comedy" is written on my gravestone as the bravest thing I ever did, it wont seem as impressive.
Your Mom wants to know when she can come watch you perform. What should I tell her?
Tell her she can come watch when the golf season ends.
Have you started to enjoy RuPaul's Drag Race? Of all the shows I make you watch, which one do you enjoy the least? (My response prior to your response: WHY!? It's great!)
I don't pay attention to RuPaul's Drag Race. I do the same thing with PIXAR movies. I'm sure they're both fine. I'm just not interested. My least favorite would have to be anything on MTV. Teenage moms are a bummer no matter what.
I know your favorite comedian so that would be a fool question to ask. So, instead tell me what you love the most about Louie C.K. ?
I'd sound like an asshole if i really broke it down…but he's just undeniably funny. And he admits that he's flawed.
Eddie Murphy recently said he's retiring from movies and returning to stand-up. (Yes, for real.) How do you feel about that?
That would be a long show with all the costume changes.
What the hell is Pat Sayjack's problem?
He has become hypnotized by the wheel. His masters have convinced him he's on the set of an porno movie called I'd Like to Buy a Vowel & a Woman. It doesn't end until they reach the letter Z. They've been stuck on H for the last 12 years.
In addition to our ground breaking interview, I have another treat for you. Scott's new podcast is up! Listen HERE.