Friday, January 21, 2011

We're Pioneers!

How long have you been reading this blog? Accidentally today? Since it's inception? Only for Hoarders? Whatever. I'll fill everyone in anyways.

I am way awesome at making drinks! I like to think I invented a couple. 1. Rum and Root Beer (Not A&W root beer. Even if you love it. It's not made for mixing.) Barq's is the best, in my opinion. 1 part rum, 2 parts root beer. Voila! Get drunk and crunk. That's your cold weather drink. That doesn't mean it should be warm, use ice cubes for crying out loud. Make it as cold as you can get it.

Another drink I say I invented, the KCito. KCito was a drink born from laziness. I made mojitos one night and, while successful, they were a lot of work. There was mint crushing and powdered sugar and tonic water and gosh, there was a lot of steps. (Was that only 3 steps I'm complaining about? I don't know. I'm not good at math.) I know that good things take time, but when I'm boozing I don't have time for a bunch of stupid mixing and measuring.

I was chatting with my awesome friend Gary and he was inventing a raspberry martini. He loaded up on raspberries after his dropped his lovely wife off at the airport. She's in the midwest right now! We're in the same time zone and everything! I bet she's not watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills right now because she's classy and has taste an there are a million better things to do and this is my problem not hers. 

Anyways, onto Gary's booze invention. You see, we're pioneers. Booze pioneers to be exact. I didn't even ask him for a cold/warm weather option. He just gave it knowing you have to have different drinks for different seasons. 

Winter and Summer Ratinis

the winter ratini:  place 4 raspberries in your favorite ratini glass, stab one with a fork lightly 4 times (releases a wee bit of juice!)
-pour 2.25 ounces, no, go ahead, make it 3 ounces, Absolut vodka or some other pretentious brand over the raspberries then drink with appropriate background music and a beagle at your side, but watch the beagle, because she will try to steal your drink.
the summer ratini, when it is NOT stinking 15 below zero outside:
-put four raspberries into your favorite ratini glass, stab one with a fork lightly 4 times (releases a wee bit of juice!)
-place ice cubes in your shaker, pour 2.25 ounces, no wait, make it at LEAST 3 ounces, Absolut vodka or some other pretentious vodka over the ice cubes, close shaker and shake DO NOT STIR vigorously a moment or 2
-pour that iced vodka over the raspberries and watch out for the fuching beagle, she will try to steal your drink ;)


Gary's third pottery blog said...

If I was honest, I would admit that my drink only LOOKS like it has a lot of steps. Frankly, you're just tossing some raspberries in a glass with vodka on top and fighting off the beagle. Good lord, do you think anyone would so stupid as to NOT use the Barq's Kasey? I am sooo glad you set everybody straight on that. And basically, I heard that the Iowa State legislature is considering naming the KCito the Iowa state drink, and your birthday, February something, a state holiday. Little kids will thank YOU and revere you 'cause they get to stay home from school.
Thank you Reverend Awesome :)

Reverend Awesome said...

OH yes. That is a very important bill on the docket. The state drink bill. Thanks for lending me a boozing hand!

George and Maureen Johnson said...

LOL LOL The only drink in Wisconsin is beer, yep that is it. Preferably while driving cars, motor cycle, snow mobiles, ATV's, and lawnmowers, you name it. Would love to see them on Sedgways for a change...! :) Oh gosh, that would be a good laugh.
Once when neighbors saw us drinking wine they said, "That stuff is for cooking ain't it"? I said, "Oh and bathing too"! lol lol :)

Gary's third pottery blog said...

GOOD LORD Maureen!!!!!!!!!! :)

Reverend Awesome said...

Maureen, Milwaukee was named the drunkest city! Your state really represented, Iowa had 3 on the list. The Midwest is pretty drunk.

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