Monday, November 8, 2010

Kicking the World's Ass

As you know I recently went snorkeling and showed the ocean who's boss. (Not me. I'd say the ocean won that battle.) The point is, I went in the ocean. I've always been really afraid of the ocean for obvious reasons: sea monsters, drowning, big fish, sea monsters. All the usual reasons. I went in and I looked down so I think that qualifies me for some sort of life badge. Jami told me once that I didn't need to be food adventurous because I was life adventurous. That's true! I have all sorts of life adventurers that all these Chinese food eaters haven't had! So there. You take your kung pao chicken and I'll stick my head in the ocean. Step off!

I really am quite adventurous. When I was younger we'd take a family vacation every Summer. We'd go to Yellowstone and Glacier Park. Someday I will go there again. Glacier Park is the most awesome place on Earth. We'd go on crazy hikes and see bears and sleep in a tent. I'm brave about some things.

I feel like the world around me is getting more food adventurous and I'm being left behind. Every once in awhile I'll try something new. I tried a tiny bite of sushi once. (Mostly just rice, whatever) I didn't spit it out. I won't go seeking it out again, but I tried it. God damn it! I even went to an actual Chinese restaurant everybody. I didn't just try fast food Chinese.

And guess what I tried this weekend? Oh I'll tell you, meat pockets. Well, that's what I named them. Scott kept talking about how he was craving Pigs in a Blanket. I thought that was a super weird thing to be craving, but whatever. A few days later he told me he couldn't find a recipe for Pigs in the Blanket. Again, I thought that was weird but I just figured he was searching the internet wrong. I don't know how a person would do that but, I was pretty sure that's what he did. So I just let him be. No pigs in the blanket for him. Then he tells me how all the pigs in the blanket recipe used hot dogs. Well of course they did! Of course, because that's what a pig in the blanket is! Even the internet knows that. So then Scott called his Dad for the recipe for this hot dog-less pig in the blanket dish he was craving. I see he's writing down to get a pound of beef and a pound of pork. "WHAT ARE WE EATING?!" Turns out it's not really pig in the blanket unless you're dutch. They are actually called saucijzenbroodjes or Danish Pig in the Blanket. Yeah, I ate it. I was scared to try it, but I did. People, I ate the meat pocket and it was good! I tried something new and it was good. This hardly ever happens.

So, the next time someone says, "You don't like Chinese food!?" I will smugly tell them, "I ate a meat pocket and I went in the ocean and I looked down. So, no, I don't like Chinese food." Then, I'll just walk off and roll my eyes. I can see it now. I think pretty much I'm kicking the world's ass, in a nice way.

5 comments:

Gary's third pottery blog said...

when you think about it, Dutch food could potentially be a whole lot more scary than Chinese. I mean, the Chinese eat dog and snake, and the Dutch eat eels and hobos don't they? "hobosinzeeblanketz" is Dutch for Hobos in blankets, and I am not sure I want to know what they put in THAT dish....

Reverend Awesome said...

Dutch food is scarier than Chinese food! I'm kick soo much ass!

Blue Duder said...

Davy Jones, giant squid!

Josh said...

Guys, Michael Bolton is here.

Reverend Awesome said...

Michael Bolton?! Everyone be on your best behavior!

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