Sunday, October 17, 2010

M.I.A

Dear Readers,
As you may have noticed I have been internet absent lately. What?! Why didn't you notice? It's been 2 days and you didn't notice?! Anyways, I haven't been on the internet. I'm in Hawaii. So tomorrow you will probably be without a Hoarders recap. Maybe. It's only 8 here. So maybe we'll be in and watching TV. I don't know. I'm not promising anything. It's midnight at home and my body feels like midnight. I took a 45 minute nap today. I never nap so, I'm wiped out. Now we're just hanging out watching the Bruce Willis classic, Blind Date.

An update on what has happened so far.
Well, right now Scott just said, "Look at that taco!" (He's perusing brochures) He's also declared that he hates the word "catamaran".

I am not meant to be on a plane for 7 hours. I listened to sooooo many podcasts. I read a book and decided I was reading too fast so what did I do like a god damn fool? I watched the in-flight movie, Grown-ups. WORST MOVIE EVER. Not even entertaining on a plane when nothing else is going on. How dare they make such a bad movie! The nerve. I'm ashamed and pissed I sat through it.

Our rental car lady had a mullet and a moustache. She also typed on her keyboard like she had never seen a keyboard before. It was excruciating to watch. Yes, I know, paradise. Just cuz I'm in the islands doesn't mean I'm not going to notice weirdos.

Then we got to our hotel/condo thing. The guy at the front desk made me and Scott put shells on each other. He said they were leis, but in my mind leis are flowers. Then he kept asking questions and being insane. Now, I just wanted to get to the room. We'd be on planes for a lifetime. So at one point I pounded my fist on the counter and said "I just want to go to our room!" I tried to not freak out on him, but god dammit. Peddle your ridiculous elsewhere. Old people love that shit. I'm an asshole and you are a fool. Just let us get on our way.

Despite all of the aforementioned weirdos, we're having a good time. Today we decided we were just going to start driving around and look for places we felt like going and go there.

We drove to some State Park where you can't go to if you don't have 4-wheel drive. It said it was 4 miles, but that was a long for miles of c-grade gravel and sand. We were shaking all around so I figured I'd take some dramamine. It was there so why not take it?

Then we get to this awesome beach and we immediately see a sign that says "No Nudity" and what to our wondering eyes should appear, but some nudity. A girl just walking around topless. Maybe she couldn't read or maybe she hates signs and/or policies.

There are signs EVERYWHERE telling you, "Don't turn your back on the ocean." I'm already scared of the ocean! I haven't turned my back on that bastard yet though. I did sit in the sand and wait for a wave to hit me. It coated me with sand, but it was great. Then I was laying out to dry and I looked over and a little crab started crawling out of a hole in the sand and I about freaked. There is no rest for the scared. I kept my eyes peeled.

Tonight we were climbing around some rocks by the ocean and what do we see? CRABS! Like giant crunch spiders. Yuck. What is it about those things? So creepy. Lobsters aren't creepy looking to me. Crabs are soooo yuck. They were just creeping around on some rocks, turning my stomach.

As I told some of you, before I came here I was afraid of the ocean covering up the island. Yes, I thought it would rise and swallow up the island. Now that I'm here and see things I'm not scared of that anymore. Conquering fears, people!

We've been taking loads of pictures so I'll be able to share all of them with you when we get back.

They have THE BEST political signs here. It's like everyone is trying to out chill each other. One has the "hang loose" sign above the guys head. Another had a cartoon body on this guys giant head. Everyone has on leis. It's a contest to see who's the most relaxed and I'm loving it.

Alright, dudes. I'll get back with you soon. Back to being in the middle of the ocean (that still freaks me out a bit when I think about it.)

5 comments:

Becky Jo said...

I'm glad you're having fun! :)

Gary's third pottery blog said...

OHMYGOD!!!! GIANT CRABS???????????

Fran said...

Hooray. Glad you are having a blast. Crunch spiders kills me.

Leigh said...

LMAO! I have never been afraid of Hawaii until I read your post! No way am I going! 7 hours on a plane... really!?!?!? Thats scary all in itself! BE CAREFUL and have fun! ;)

George and Maureen Johnson said...

Oh gosh, you are so way awesome. I love documentaries that state the truth. lol lol :) Oh and crabs are in fact in the Arachnid family. You got it, water bugs...ugh! The nudity on the beach, oh gosh, what is one to do? They are everywhere, maybe the crab stole her top when she was sunbathing...lol lol :)
You and Scott have a great time, can't wait till you get back and get the scoop. Love your honesty, be safe, and remember "No Rocks"....!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...