Monday, October 4, 2010

Hoarders: Kathleen

Kathleen, a teacher from Texas. Totally admits and seems proud of the fact that she's a hoarder.

She feels guilty about things she could make into crafts. I'll admit, I've felt that about things before too. Not to the point where I have piles of iffy craft items are piling up though.

Oh and a close of shot of poop by a pop can. I feel like that was planted by Coke to turn people off from Pepsi. Hoarders drink Pepsi. It's like what they did to Snooki, debranding. Oh she uses Special Kitty brand litter. That was a covert advertisement for Tidy Cat.

She has a son and daughter. I don't think the son lives there anymore. Nope. Lived on his own since he was 19. Marco could have gone pro. He could have been straight NFL if his Mom wasn't a hoarder. That's sort of what they are alleging. They say that he's sticking around for his sister since she has to live with the Hoarder Mom now. This all seems a little bit complicated to me and made up to me. Yeah, I could have been a sports start too if only I weren't crap at sports.

She doesn't want "She was a nice hoarder" on her tombstone. Well, I bet their will be a rush for everyone to get that on their tombstone now.

Mark Feffer is who is going to guide our hoarder on her journey. In the words of Sheryl Crow, are you strong enough to be her man? Nah. He's not like that cagey cleaner. I like him.

Right now it's like they are having a cleaning party. This always comes to an abrupt end. There, we're already at the abrupt end. There is weird black stuff under the garbage and snails. Oh I guess the mold is black mold. Sing about black mold to the tune of Black Velvet.

She has a secret hoard room. The family thinks she's hiding secrets in there. She has a "Teacher's Have Class"decoration. Tacky, hoarder. Really tacky.

The hoarders sister seems obsessed with her lies. Lies about cleaning and lying about having a storage unit. A DIRTY LITTLE SECRET STORAGE UNIT! Okay, why is that the dirtiest secret? At least they aren't LIVING in the storage unit or are they saying she has an empty storage unit? This storage unit story is not as exiting as they are pretending it is.

I think this sister is too obsessed with lies. You're standing in a pile of shit, focus on that shit. Also, I think all hoarders should wear shirts with sleeves. That should be a hoarder requirement.

Is all the advertising for 1-800-GOT-JUNK worth cleaning up feces for them? It must be.

What the fuck is that mountain scene on the walls? WEIRD.

Margree-She's 69. HAHAHA, 69! She lives in Cali. She likes to buy things. She's "a pretty advocate watcher of home shopping channels on TV" and practically every time she saw something she'd buy it. She also admits to hoarding.

Ellis is Margree's husband. He's a reverend. He seems like one. He sort of reminds me of Morgan Freeman. Not how he looks but just the vibe he's giving off. Morgan Freeman vibe. I guess I'm a Reverend too. Don't I seem like one? Yeah, I think I totally give off the Morgan Freeman vibe. He also doesn't live with her due to the garbage.

Margree's grandkid died of SIDS. She took that really hard and felt guilty. OH and her daughter's son died when he was 16. Jesus Christ, Margree. You've had it rough, girl. So has your daughter though. Pull through for her.

Tonya Harding hoarding expert. I'm not feeling her new highlights. Not one bit. She thinks she's so Hollywood now. Oh Robin Zasio just said, "her house is now completely hoarded." It's reached it's max in hoarding. Her husband doesn't want to be there because of the hoard. Why are they using that as a noun? Now I'm going to have to start using it as a noun. God dammit.

Dorothy the professional organizer is out of her element.

I don't think it's any of Tonya Harding's god damn business why Margree's husband isn't there. Take a look at your hair Ms. Zasio and then you can start asking questions.

The Reverend Ellis showed up and he's wearing a sweater vest. Margree denied his kiss. Hopefully not due to the sweater cuz the Rev is working that thing. I don't know why she denied the Reverend like that. If it was just because he hates hoarding that seems mean. Most people hate hoarding.

She has an attachment to dolls and she talks to them and plays with them. Dolls are always creepy! I don't care if you have 2 or 200. They come to life at night and watch you sleep.

The Reverend is leaving. He's sashaying. Well, the daughters hated the Reverend. I think he was some gay-but-marry-a-lady-hoarder scam artist. Typical.

Without the Reverend Margree got her shit together quick.


Gary's third pottery blog said...


George and Maureen Johnson said...

Love how you are intrigued by the hoarders. I will never forget my first time in a hoarders home with the truly was overwhelming, suffocating, and you truly felt like you were in a tomb.
I was so amazed how they justify their lifestyle. I do too, but I don't think I would in that circumstance. It's too over powering for even me. Very Strange!

HoardFan said...

Did you notice no actual employment was mentioned for either Kathleen's son or the "Reverend" Ellis? Kinda conspicuous not to mention a church or a congregation in connection with a "reverend"...

Marco sure moved in with Mom quickly when there was room for him - the show wrap-up said he was enjoying eating Mom's food everyday. Good thing he "gave up" college to wait for his free ride.

Hoard Spongers!!
[Perhaps I'm getting cynical watching the poo-laden layers of dysfunction on this show]

Reverend Awesome said...

HAHA! Good point. It's strange. It's like I don't even notice when they don't have jobs anymore. I'm always stunned when they actually have jobs and I just figure they have to be the smelly person at work.

I feel like that Reverend got ordained online just like me, but he's just lording his status over people. I really need to start lording over people more and perhaps purchase a few sweater vests.

Yeah, I think watching the hoarders we start becoming numb to HOARD just like the hoarders. If there's not a 6 foot pile of shit you are a boring hoarder!

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Sal said...

margree .....stupid asshole......why does the rev stay with the dumb bitch...

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