Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Town Weirdo

Over at the BABB blog we're talking weirdos. I figured for those of you that didn't read that blog I'd also post my weirdo story here.

It's not a weirdo that I love. It's the "town weirdo." He lives on the highway outside of Dallas Center.

He has this mannequin that he dresses up in lingerie (he lives alone and just has a crap load of lingerie) and puts her in his attic window so people driving by can see her. He wants everyone to see his mannequin in lingerie. That's what he's deciding to share with the world. He even has a spotlight on her.

At Christmas time he had her in a kinky little santa teddy. Yuck. And everyday on the way to and from school on the bus you would see this. And he'd have all sorts of bras and stuff out on the clothes line. He'd never bring it in though. It was out there for like 6 months straight. Just flapping in the breeze. I saw it almost every day of my life.

He has all this junk all over his lawn. Old cars and windmills. I bet his house was a hoarder house.

He also put a whole bunch of boots nailed to a pole by his house and it had a sign that said, "Boot Hill" but it wasn't even on a hill!

I worked at the Bowling Alley in Dallas Center one summer. It was lots of fun. I loved it. My boss was THE GREATEST!

Well, the town weirdo was a bowling alley customer. He'd come in for lunch. He told my boss he should have to look at that (that=me and my lip ring) when I'm trying to eat. He wanted me fired. This was the town weirdo and he didn't want to look at me? Mr. Mannequin? So whatever. My boss would go wait on him and would cook his food while I stood around not touching anything near him. It was fine. Funny that the freak thought I was such a freak. We're all freaks to someone.

And my boss said he wanted to come into work shirtless so the guy would see his nipples were pierced. We just worked around the weirdo. Made it okay for him to eat.

I would see him at the gas stations and give him the biggest smile I could. Oh what torture it must have been for him. The weirdo was smiling at him. It was like I didn't even care he thought I was disgusting.

And now when I go to the DC Fall Fest I get to see him ride one of his old cars in the parade. Scott got his picture.


Leigh said...

What a weirdo!?!

Reverend Awesome said...

He sort of gave of a Normal Bates kinda vibe. To him I'm the weirdo. He could have a blog somewhere calling me a weirdo for all I know. That would actually be pretty awesome.

JenB37 said...

He is super gross. That guy needs to move.

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