Monday, September 6, 2010

HOARDERS SEASON PREMIERE!

I can't think of a better way to end a lovely 3 day weekend. Our (my) favorite show about dead cats and poop is back! I tried cheating on it with Hoarding: Buried Alive and it was just not for me.

Oh, in the preview there was someone in Hawaii hoarding. One of my friends lived there and she said she thought there were loads of hoarders. People have all kinds of stuff outside there.

There are two episodes tonight. This is too much filth to watch in one evening, but I am going to do it. Don't think I wont.

Adella—Edmond, OK
"She lives with and sleeps with nameless faceless trash that is her accompaniment in life."
Hoarders daughter, Darcy.

Darcy cut off contact with her mom 22 years ago because her mom loved trash more than her. I mean it. She really did.

Beverly is another one of Adella's daughters. She says her hoarding started in '88. The year her mom passed away and also the year Die Hard was released. Coincidence? She went nuts after her mom passed away and she started bringing trash bags home.

Adella has a hoarding car too! I've seen those. Have you? I bet you have. Where only the passenger has room to get in? I think we're all living amongst more hoarders then we could even imagine. Does that send a chill down your spine too?


Listen, this lady doesn't strive out everyday to be a hoarder. She doesn't want that label on her head. She's got other things to do other than not be gross. She's clearly spending plenty of time on her weird hairdo every morning.

The toilet is in the bathtub! No water for 7 months. Oh no. She goes to another bathroom in town when she has to crap. 

These people love to rattle off all the things Adella chose trash over. Marriage. Kids. Spaghetti and meatballs. 

"I'm hoping it will continue on an even keel rather than uneven." Hoarder's daughter. I bet in her mind that was something worth saying.

"No, they aren't antiques. They are from the 80's." Hoarding specialist. 

This clean up crew and specialist is getting kinda cagey with her and I like it. "She's a lot like a rattlesnake."

Adella made a new hoard pile in the yard overnight. Adella's hair makes her not look like a hoarder. 

Adella put the home in her daughter Beverly's name. Beverly doesn't want it. Adella is yanking out x-mas lights in a rage.

"Indiscriminate garage." I think Darcy thinks she's pretty clever.

Adella acts like this is all one big joke. House is clean, citations are gone, Adella's still an angry hoarder. "I like tables and I like chairs and I like radios." Hoarder logic


Teri, the Hawaii lady. She's also a nurse.

She says she's not a hoarder, she's just messy. The trash if piled about 2 feet from the ceiling. They have to climb over it.

OH GOD! The question we've all been wondering, why do people stay with a hoarder? He just threatens divorce on a constant basis. Well that's fun! Keep everyone on their toes.

Kids:
Corey, 12 year old.
Teri's son. Jordan, 8 years old. Teri's daughter. She tries to clean up, but it keeps getting messier.

B52-Bomber cockroaches in Hawaii. Well she saw a giant one of those by her son's head which, "totally freaked me out," the hoarder said. Okay, well those kids need out of this house. That's not even fair. Oh and the kids have asthma. Wonder why?

Her house is throwing up clutter, literally. No, not really because houses can't vomit. She just likes to shop and hoard.

The 8 year old has to sleep with her Dad. They can't use the kitchen. Yeah, now Tonya Harding hoarding specialists are going to turn them in. They have no access to their food, bedroom, clothing and everything a kid needs. So she has to report her by law.

The dad is breaking down. I'd like to add he has a mullet. The hoarder just declared she doesn't need help to keep Tonya from calling the cops on her. She has a 5 day period that she has to call the authorities if it's not better.

There's a Hawaii Association of Professional Organizers. that's how serious the shit gets there.

The hoarder just said her fridge smelled like a Hawaii smell and not of rotting food.

Teri just storms off like a Maury guest to the back stage from time to time.

Teri and Kerry had a breakthrough. He cried again and she finally cared.

Holy crap they got rid of all of their garbage. In a day. This Tonya Harding is a miracle worker.

Kerry is sooo happy! No more crying for him.

6 comments:

virgil said...

Darcy had a phat butt n a nice rack God damn she was easy on the eyes I hope she poses for playboy!

Tiffany said...

Adella: Don't forget my favorite part: the 'extreme organizer guy' I forgot his name...he took the bottom of the rusty useless rake and hung it in her gorgeous kitchen after she said "It goes on the kitchen wall." It looked SOOO GOOD there, leave it please Adella. Remember to grab it off the wall the next time your house is demolished, ok? :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh man that was fast. I was so excited Hoarders was back and so excited to read your recaps and then there they were like magic!

Oh I think they knew CPS would have to come in and had Tonya call as a ploy to increase drama. That was kind of mean, even though the kids really needed out. They wanted the money shots of Kerry crying, I bet.

Becky Jo said...

I was gone all weekend, so I get to read two recaps in a row!

This just kills me... where, in Hawaii, are the hoarders? Hawaii is supposed to be a magical beachy land with happy fat Hawaiian guys and girls in grass skirts and coconut bras... not piles of garbage. Hmm... I must have missed the piles of garbage when I was there.

Reverend Awesome said...

My friend says that their laundry rooms adn things in Hawaii are all outside and stuff just accumulates around it.
She also said there are happy homeless people there.
I can see how that would be. Homeless in a tropical paradise.
I think Tonya Harding called just to create drama too because she didn't turn them in right away, she just wanted to know how long she had to clean and she could threaten them with child removal.

Anonymous said...

Lol. Watched these episodes on vibe. Was just shocked that Teri is a nurse - where i live, if the nursing council got wind of that they would deem her as mentally unstable at a guess and she would likely find it hard to get her APC (annual practicing certificate)renewed with out proof that she had sorted herself to a stable level.
As for Adella, no goods coming of that. Shes probably out right now looking for more radios and chairs and tables. Silly stubborn piece of work. In fact I wonder what happened to adella? Anyone know?

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