Monday, September 13, 2010

Hoarders: Carolyn + Jo

Oh crap. Were there two new Hoarders tonight? Space that shit out. I didn't know. Don't leave us high and drive for months and then overwhelm us. 2 hours of filth gets to be a bit much. I know from experience.

Carolyn, 29 (looks super way older than that) and she drives a school bus. Alberta, Canada
They are telling us that hoarding is effecting her 3 children negatively. Oh really? Living in total filth isn't good for kids?

Her 7 year old is writing god damn suicide notes. She says she wants to be killed. This is insane. Hoarders need to be stopped! They are ruining children.

HUSBAND HAD A MULLET! Wedding pic posted and he totally had a wavy mullet. She has sores all around her mouth.

Her babysitter says it smells like rotting vegetables and animals in the house.

She has "borderline garbage" and that's what she's living in. Ummm. It's not borderline. It is garbage.

TONYA HARDING HOARDING SPECIALIST! America's favorite hoarding specialist. She got some really horrible highlights in her hair.

"Is this disturbing to you?" "Yeah." "Oh good. I'm glad to hear that."

They decide to clean the fridge first because it smells so awful.

Abigail, her daughter, is a mini-hoarder. She is already showing signs of hoarding. You know, Tonya Harding isn't talking to this child as if she's a child and it's not sitting well with me. She's talking too confusing for her to understand. OH NO! Abigail is ULTRA-hoarder child. She thinks throwing a broken diorama out is like throwing her effort out.

She's manically throwing garbage away now.

I think Tonya needs to stick to specializing in hoarding because she is crap at dealing with children.

GAS BUBBLE ALERT! I don't know what that was all about. Gas bubble? Do you guys get gas bubbles? What the hell is that? Oh. Some ulcer thing Tonya says. Now it's a panic attack? I don't know. It was a gas bubble.

Tonya thinks Carolyn will be okay, but she's worried Danielle (the daughter) will still go back to hoarding.

Jo, 72  Retired. Alleged hoarder claims to be a collector. 

She has a lot of dusty spoons.

She has a boatload of clocks. She said because her grandpa was a clockmaker. That's why she loves them. I wonder what things I love

Ed is Jo's husband. He's the kinda guy that wears overalls. "The collecting got worse and it wasn't collecting good things." He has a cardiovascular disease that makes living in the disgusting house dangerous for him. He moved out a few months ago.

Sharon is 52, Jo's daughter.

*Commercial commentary* SEXTING PSA! There are sexting PSAs now.

Certified Professional Organizer Certified in Chronic Disorganization. That is this woman's totally made up title. This blows my mind that people can just declare themselves anything.

Jo wants to clean up her home to get Ed back.

Things they found in the garage,
16 mouse skeletons
1 rat
1 squirrel
1 opossum (written out on her paper as "possom")
and many bugs

MANY IS RIGHT! It's insane with creepy crawlers! She says she just throws poison out there sometimes so of course there are dead things.

OPOSSUM! Alive opossum!

There is a sensible black man working with Jo that says sensible things sometimes. I missed who he was. I think he's a doctor.

Jo's crap is actually worth money. She says that's bitter sweet.

"Jo is a hoarder, but she truly has collectibles." Hoarding expert

Jo says she'll try her best not to do it again. "I'm pretty sure she's going to do it again." Scott
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