Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Candy Aisle

After work today I stopped by the grocery store. I was picking up some dinner items, pudding packs for my lunch tomorrow, allergy medicine and I got a bag of cherry slices. Those sugar coated candies you see above. What can I say? I'm a total health nut.

I go to a checkout and the lady in front of me must be having a party or she's a raging alcoholic and hard core snacker. She was buying a few cases of beer and a lot of snack items. She also brought her green grocery bags an gave them to the cashier. A teenager came over to help our cashier sack groceries. He starts telling this party lady how heavy her bags are and how they hurt his arms. He says it over and over and this lady is being polite like a normal human, telling this kid she could carry them.

This oddness ends. That lady gets sent on her way and I'm up to bat.

Should be fast. The first item has gone through so I swipe my debit, enter my pin and then this sacker sees my cherry slices. He holds them up in his hand. I mean there is something off with this kid. What followed will haunt me.

Sacker: Where did you get these?
Me: In the candy aisle.
Sacker: Where?
Me: In your store.
Sacker: Where at in the store?
(I point to the end aisle by the deli)

And then the guy stands there holding my cherry slices. There are things to sack and I'm checked out and he is holding these god damn cherry slices. Staring at them. I look at the casher with longing-to-leave in my eyes. She says to him, "She's waiting. Just put them in the bag."

Sacker: Where did you get these?

By this point I'm feeling weird. I mean, that's the normal human emotion one feels at moments like this. So there was me, weird. I thought to myself, let me try to lighten this up.

Me: Maybe before you leave work tonight you can go explore your store and find the candy.
Sacker: No can do. I'm meeting my Mom and my sister.

At this point I'm standing there in stunned silence. This kid would not give up on these freaking cherry slices! At least my slices are in the sack. I grabbed my bag and then he got super weird.

Sacker: It would be nice if someone would just tell me where they are.
Me: (move and figure out the aisle number) They are in aisle 16! God dammit!

Yes, I ended up saying "god dammit" to some cashier. A kid. Like I'm some sort of insane person. He turned me insane. It was all his fault.


Leigh said...

He deserved it! I had a cashier hold up every item that he scanned, examine it and then make some sort of comment about each and every single purchase! I was soooo annnoyed. The line was backing up and I was thinking just "HURRY UP"! Then I realized I had said it out loud. You could have heard a pin drop in the store. (I couldnt help but to think that if I had bought bulk in tampons and maxi pads that it would have moved the process along a bit). Then to make matters worse, there was that awkward silence while he finished scanning the rest of my items. So your insanity was entirely his fault! ;)

Liz said...

It amazes me that people like that can keep a job.

Gary's third pottery blog said...


k.a. barnes said...

NUTJOB! I think at that point I would've thrown the cherry slices at his face (ideally hitting him smack in his candyhole) and left. Probably stopping at another store to get another bag. I love me my candy.

Becky Jo said...

I had a waitress turn me crazy once, and in front of some friends, so I was extra-crazy looking. I had ordered an appetizer that was big enough to share, so I asked her to bring me some extra little plates.

Waitress:"Extra little plates?Why?"

Me: "So I can share my appetizer"

Waitress: "Oh, but why do you want extra plates?"

Me: "So my friends can have a plate"

Waitress (looking around our table for plates!): "What plates are you talking about?"


It's funny now, but I felt like a retard at the time. ;)

Reverend Awesome said...

What is wrong with people?! Why must this happen and why do we have to end up feeling like the asshole. I mean, I felt terrible. I walked into my apartment and Scott was like, "where were you?" and I said, "Oh just stopped by the store and yelled at the sacker who may or may not have been retarded."

And I can't help but notice that this seems to happen to an inordinate amount of women. Does this not happen to men? From here on out I'm going to always buy something that will make the cashier uncomfortable. Condoms, tampons, lube. Things of that nature. Maybe I'll try making THEM uncomfortable. "That's right, super plus tampons. I'm having heavy flow."

k.a. barnes said...

Or better yet, ask them for advice on what you're buying. And specifics. "Hey, do you think this is the right absorbancy? Now, it says here 1-2 ounces, but I think I need a lot more than that. What do you think?? What would YOU recommend? Will you show me??"

Tiffany said...

My comment erred, kill blogger.

So *that's* the kind of help they're hiring these days, huh?

I'd go back when he's there and dress in a shirt covered in the red candy pieces and make him go insane.

Personally I love the spearmint wedges. :)

Anonymous said...

perhaps what drove both of you insane is the fact that cherries aren't sliceable.

Reverend Awesome said...

Gel candies made of pure sugar and artificial colors and flavoring are.

Erin from Boston said...

i know this post is old but i saw it and felt compelled to comment. there is a bagger at my grocery store who is "special".

if i buy cheez its, i buy spongebob ones. why buy boring square cheez its? he's bagging my stuff and stops at the spongebob cheez its. "oh spongebob square pants. that's a funny show. i like that show. yeah spongebob squarepants. kids like that show. i like that show. yeah spongebob squarepants. that's a funny show. i like that show." this went on for about 10 minutes before he finally put the cheez its in my bag. another time it was the dora the explorer cookies. on and on and on about dora. i feel bad for the guy so i stand there and engage in his repetitive conversation.

my grocery store also employs a cashier my friends and i have nicknamed "the money massager" and a cashier we have called "excessive movement guy". my grocery store is like a wonderland.

Kasey Baker-VerMulm said...

Grocery stores are like weirdo wonderlands! There's another cashier at the same grocery store that asks me, every time I purchase cat food, "You have cats?" What!? Sometimes I tell him "No, I just like to eat cat food." It's just one of his things. He has to say it every time. He doesn't care if it's the 100th time he's asked me nor does he remember.

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