I have a big ninja hobo voodoo problem. There is this hobo dude, let's just call him "KARL" although that isn't his real name, and he has this spooky Spidey sense. Every time you say his name, or even SPELL his name to your friends, the dude comes out of nowhere and tries to get you to buy him a beer and a burrito. It is truly this sort of ninja hobo voodoo sh!t, I am telling you.
Short of moving out of town and being impolite, how do you deal with this? I am thinking that every time he shows up I say "ooops, gotta catch my plane!" or "damn, I just remembered, I've got surgery scheduled!" and run off.
How would you deal with spooky ninja hobo voodoo sh!t?
Hobos are a tricky problem to have. You see they pretend they're in a drunk-on-Wild Irish Rose stupor, but you must be careful around the hobos. Sometimes they are just playing drunk in order to sneak up on you and suck out your soul through your nostrils. Sounds weird doesn't it? Sounds sort of unbelievable. Believe it! Thinking that's just a story teens tell each other around a bonfire* is just what the hobos want you to believe!
The trick for living safely with hobos. Always keep a bottle with deposit on you. Always. If your state does not have a deposit on cans and bottles, keep a quarter in your hand at all times. When you see a hobo take your can or your quarter, throw it as far as you can and run in the other direction. Coins and cans are huge distractions for hobos.
If you don't have those items on you, improvise. Point to the distance and say, "Hey, what are they throwing in that dumpster?" and run.
*No teens tell that story around a bonfire. I added that for effect.