Monday, May 17, 2010

Random Sampling of Awesome: So Much Awesome, So Much Time

This is what you've all been waiting for! More bits and pieces from me and Heath. We know how great we are.

What in the holy hell am I supposed to do with this?

We just got put on toilet duty for the party. TOILET DUTY.

John Bachman would call her a silly bitch on TV.

God is trying to tell her not to eat so much crap. He made it so she can’t eat ice cream without shitting herself. She would rather shit herself.

Get ready to cry.

I’m going to kick him in the lady business.

Hard to grab a hold of teets while they’re all folded in on each other. I just made myself sick.

People need to realize how easy it is to ignore their emails.

I think the next person who sends me an email with a red exclamation point, I’m going to give them a titty twister.

That story is not like watching RuPaul’s Drag Race. It does not get better on repeat viewings.

If everything that happens to you is an emergency, then it’s just the stuff that happens to you.

Holy cowboy hats! I love tiny head man and his giant bride!

I just dropped a chip down my shirt. God dammit. I’m a slob. At least I’m not someone that gets pissed over commas.

Fuck you, Tuesday.

I think he finds himself not annoying. He’s wrong.

I hope I am soon the subject of a crazy old man tweet.

I’m about to pee my pants. I’m coming over.

She loves her fellow turtleneck enthusiasts with terrible social skills.

Fuck this logo. Zero kittens.

Is it because she’s trying to fit all her secrets into a carryon bag? I don’t even think they allow secrets on planes anymore.

That body is perfect. Perfect as a comparison to her. That’s certainly not a perfect body.

6 comments:

Gary's third pottery blog said...

ZERO KITTENS??? Never!

Reverend Awesome said...

I know. Bunch of bullshit if you ask me.

Becky Jo said...

Fuck you, Tuesday. <~~ my favorite. Why should Monday get all the credit for being a shitty day?

Both Sides of Ben Marlan said...

Holy Random. But i agree - Fuck Tuesday! Or maybe not. Who knows which day of the week to fuck

Anonymous said...

are you fucking the logo because it has zero kittens? or are kittens your rating system for logos and this particular logo was awarded zero kittens? either way, lovely.

Reverend Awesome said...

I need to start rating things in kittens! The kitten quotient. I was just angry about it not having any kittens. More logos should.

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