As most of you know I'll be getting married semi-soon. In October. A date decided by my baby brother's federal holiday weekend requirement. I thought figuring out when it was going to be was a big deal. I mean, I felt so proud of myself for making a decision. AND THEN I even figured out where it was going to be! I mean, holy hell, I was on a freaking roll! Be proud of me, world! I was certainly pleased as punch at my progress.
The thing is, making decisions only leads to people making you make more decisions. Like what are my colors. Why do I need to pick colors? I'm not going to pick colors. I pick all colors! In your face! You can't hold me back. Don't stifle me with 2 colors.
I talked with a lady at a wedding dress shop. She asked me what I was looking for. I didn't know. Something not stupid. That's what I'm in the market for. "Well have you been looking through magazines?" "No. I haven't looked through any magazines. What magazines? Dress magazines?" "Yes, to see what you like?" "No." "When did you get engaged?" "On Christmas" "It's April and you haven't looked through any magazines?!" "I hate shopping. I'm not just talking about dresses, I hate shopping in general. This is a whole new level of shopping and I kind of want to just get it over with." So there I go. Being a failure as a bride. Not looking through magazines. Then she told me, "Well your husband will probably like that you don't like shopping." Wow. So this woman was implying that I need a man's permission to go shopping. Or some sort of shopping allowance. Get out of my life with that talk. I just gave her the side eye and carried on with my business. She talked about tulle. A LOT.
If it were socially acceptable, I would wear the same thing everyday. I almost do. I just hate shopping that much. Being able to dress weird is the only thing I miss about being a teen. It's just not cute to go out of your way to be weird when you're 31.
I called my brother after this whole ordeal and we had a good laugh about it. Better to laugh at people than get too angry.
Then there is the guest list. I don't want to offend anyone, but someone will be offended. I've accepted that. I guess.
My Dad forgot about having to walk me down the aisle. HAHA! You have to walk in front of everyone feeling uncomfortable too, Dad! Sucks to be us! Don't worry. We can get drunk first.
It's not that I think that people are stupid for getting super thrilled about their wedding and even thinking about it for years, but that's just not me. I haven't been looking through magazines. I'm totally fine if people want to plunk down loads of cash on a wedding if they have loads of cash at their disposal. Do what you want but, I haven't been dreaming about a wedding since I was a little girl. I've been dreaming about being awesome. See, dreams do come true.