Friday, April 30, 2010

The Sandra Lee of Booze

Everyone should drink what I drink. I know what's horrendous and what's delicious. For example, the KCito. Everyone who's tried it has loved it. What's not to love? Not loving KC-itos is for commies and day shift hookers.

Now for my other favorite drink, spiced rum and root beer. As you can see I'm big into rum. It makes for happy drunk times. According to this website this is rum drunk...

Rum, a real S.O.B.
Rum is like Mad Martigan from the feature film Willow. It's an awesome drunk that needs a catalyst to really shine through - in Mad Martigans case it was the epic need to save a baby from Trolls and a Tyrannical queen - in the case of rum its just a nice glass and an alibi. Rum drunks are smooth, worry free Jimmy Buffet type adventures that go from Madness to Calmness in about three or four sips. It's typically a contained trouble that has both the effects of sugar and liquor that do a delicate dance with the devil. The thing about Rum drunks is that its a grounding feeling which means that you can keep your balance and almost keep time if you need to dance.

And there you have it. You will be like a tour de force performance by Val Kilmer. Who doesn't want that? Also, I feel like midget references are entering my life a lot lately. It's a sign. I don't know what it's a sign of, but I'm scared.

Now, when you try to order rum and root beer in a bar they will give you a judging look and tell you "we don't have root beer" (eye roll) and I just can't bear these judging looks. Same shit happens when you ask for ketchup at fancy restaurants and this is why I smuggle ketchup into restaurants in my purse. This is neither here nor there. Back to the drink. This is my home drink. Spiced rum and root beer. It is the perfect combo!

Don't use A&W root beer though. Use Dad's, Mug or Barq's. A&W just doesn't cut it. I think it's only good when you're drinking it out of a frosty mug. Does it even have carbonation? If it does there isn't enough.

Try it and report back how much you love it. You're welcome.

2 comments:

Gary's third pottery blog said...

do NOT be a commie or day shift hooker or a pussy either, listen to KC

Reverend Awesome said...

Yeah! Thanks, Gary. Spread the word.

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