This is a very special WWKD because the world renowned and beloved Maude made a couple inquiries. Maude is my pal Gary's wife and if you read Gary's blog you will see she is the bee's knees. Awesome lady. Here we go.
Dear Kasey, I am in the men's dept. of a fashionable clothing store. There are these 5-6 guys who all seem to be from a halfway house or something. How do I avoid a conversation with them? One of the guys just started chatting with me and asked me out, although I was standing near my husband. My husband thinks they are ex-cons. Maybe they are crazy too. WWWKD? ----(truly it is she!) thanks, Gary's wife
MAUDE! Regular advice would be to act crazy and make them go away, but being that they are crazy themselves that won't work. They will think you are one of them. You speak French right? Tell them to go to hell in french. Although it probably won't make them go away you will feel better. Crazies are not usually bilingual. So they surely won't know what you said.
Dear WWKD-I didn't know all this, although I was there poking around looking for boots I saw last week (sold I guess). If she had told me, I would have gone all ninja on those guys and kicked some serious crazy-ex-con ass.
OK, but here is MY question. Why is the RED sauce at the taco joint mild, the green HOT and the innocent looking orange HOTTER THAN F##KING HELL?
I know you would, Gary. You've got some hidden ninja tricks up your sleeve. Skillz that can only be acquired by spending an insane amount of time with a sock monkey.
That's the taco joint messing around with you. They know what they are doing having the sauce sitting there looking like it won't burn off your taste buds. Tricky little devils. Don't fall for their ruse.
dear WWKD again, my dog ate something nasty off the sidewalk, maybe it was bunny guts. How do I clean her mouth out before she comes to bed with us later? (truly!) Gary's wife again...
Yikes. I would give her some peanut butter and then she'll need some water. So at least when she gives you kisses later it won't be straight-up bunny guts. It will be peanut butter with a hint of bunny guts.
And this leads me to a story. When I was in elementary school my science teacher apparently asked my mom if I wanted to go to science day camp over the summer. Without asking me my Mom signed me up for it. Which was fine. We had to dissect a lamb's heart and honestly I thought it was pretty cool at that point in my life. They even let me take it home!! So I brought it home to show off what I had done and my Mom told me to put it outside. Well our cat then was and indoor/outdoor cat. At the time it was outdoors. Guess who ate my dissected heart? My cat. I was horrified. What a savage! She was fine though. They must not have kept them in formaldehyde. I did look at her strange for a few days after that though.