Monday, March 22, 2010

WWKD about Turtle Herding

Dear Kasey,

I recently went to park to herd turtles. being a turtle herder i face many challenges during the work day. One of them being my that wife doesnt understand i need to work during as many night time hours as possible, being that turtles are nocturnal and become comatose during the day (little known fact). So instead of herding them at night she wants me to just gather them up with a rake during the day so we can have din din at night. how do I manage to find time to split between my career and my relationship?

signed; workin on my night moves

Dear Workin on My Night Moves,
You've come to the right place. I've been in relationships in the past where my job as a freelance-impromptu traffic director has gotten in the way of a nice night on the town. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. The traffic won't direct it's self! Well, it might, but why should it have to!?

She knew what she was getting into when she started dating you. You're a turtle herder. It's your passion. A man can't just give up his passion! Nothing should get between a man and his love of wrangling turtles. Take her with you one night. Let her see what it's like out there on the range. She'll understand and if she doesn't to hell with this broad!

She needs to find a nocturnal passion of her own. Singing the homeless to sleep? Selling tickets to mice to take a ride on an owl? Something.

Better idea. Have her become a mythological creature. A vampire. Werewolf. Get your sleep patterns in synch. Boom! Problem solved.

Good luck out there, cowboy.

4 comments:

Gary's third pottery blog said...

Dear WWKD---
If I named my child William, what would be a good nickname for him? Do folks call him Will, William, Willy, Bill, Liam, Billy? That is a lot of choices. They sure as heck aren't going to call him Sean John or JLo.
And in answer to becky Jo, it is a consignment store---the dudes were all like "let's go to Salvation Army, man" and outside we saw a van loading the dudes up, therefore giving the whole 'crazy-ex-con-on-parole' theory some credence....

Becky Jo said...

I figured it wasn't Macy's.. but good to know.. I'll watch for ex-cons at the Salvation Army..

..and to answer your question: Williard... or, if we're combining first/last: WiBak.

Both Sides of Ben Marlan said...

Gee Wizards Rev K, you are a wise and great person.

Reverend Awesome said...

They will call him, WEE-YUM. That's what I called my brother.

Yes. Very wise. I pretend to have an answer for everything.

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