I recently went to park to herd turtles. being a turtle herder i face many challenges during the work day. One of them being my that wife doesnt understand i need to work during as many night time hours as possible, being that turtles are nocturnal and become comatose during the day (little known fact). So instead of herding them at night she wants me to just gather them up with a rake during the day so we can have din din at night. how do I manage to find time to split between my career and my relationship?
signed; workin on my night moves
Dear Workin on My Night Moves,
You've come to the right place. I've been in relationships in the past where my job as a freelance-impromptu traffic director has gotten in the way of a nice night on the town. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. The traffic won't direct it's self! Well, it might, but why should it have to!?
She knew what she was getting into when she started dating you. You're a turtle herder. It's your passion. A man can't just give up his passion! Nothing should get between a man and his love of wrangling turtles. Take her with you one night. Let her see what it's like out there on the range. She'll understand and if she doesn't to hell with this broad!
She needs to find a nocturnal passion of her own. Singing the homeless to sleep? Selling tickets to mice to take a ride on an owl? Something.
Better idea. Have her become a mythological creature. A vampire. Werewolf. Get your sleep patterns in synch. Boom! Problem solved.
Good luck out there, cowboy.