Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Random Sampling of Awesome: We're Still Awesome!

This will probably shock you, but I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about.

This is the email I got right before we left for lunch that made me want to kick a puppy.

Looks like someone loves us.

I feel like we need to write a few key steps to help people determine whether or not anyone else gives a snow penis if they’re heading anywhere.

Who is this “we” she speaks of? Is this some kind of schizo thing?

I swear if I hear her laugh before I leave for the dentist, I’m going to throw her phone at her.

They won’t even be mad that it’s not an actual slut. They will be mad that it’s such a disgusting gift.

I’m kind of afraid to eat them. I feel like they’re probably OK, but I also feel like that’s what people think right before they eat something that gives them chlamydia.

I feel like these people think they’re so fucking fancy.

It will be awkward tonight when she has to look at him and think about him being a ratard when they’re eating dinner.

The sun and her will keep their non-solution a secret.

People like having us around to help things seem professional.

I should have told the guy that i’m also known to frequent men’s locker rooms.

I hope that baby is ready to be a junior tranny.

I feel like this is Hooters if Hooters was too cheap to pay sluts to serve their food.

Oh I’m all the talk of the tampon machine.

Speaking of lesbians...

I think I heard his heart breaking on Monday morning when she stood up and her ass looked like all diapery.

Well look at that. I CAN vomit on an empty stomach.

WTF!?!?!?! That email demands I use that much punctuation. I’m sorry.

He does what he wants. It’s the way of the yuppy.

I never told him about unofficial 07!

I’m going to Canadianize this BS.

I’m sure she ate a bag of chips and forgot about me.

Even down to the shortness. They’re the same.

She is an asshole whose eye lids are falling off her face.

2 comments:

Becky Jo said...

Effing hysterical. I'm in Tuscarora with Marti Mae and we're laughing our butts off reading your awesomeness. Keep it up, sister.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

REV!

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