Monday, January 18, 2010

Hoarders

It's Monday. You guys all know what that means. I'm sitting around watching tragic TV unlike the rest of you. I'm hoarding blog posts about Hoarding.

Janet, 52- Retired homemaker

Her home became "overloading." This was after her husband died waiting for a heart transplant.

It's compulsive shopping run amuck. This isn't always the case. We've seen it a couple times. These are the kind of people that don't have poop in their house. The poop people collect just straight up garbage. This hoarder has actual items that weren't meant for the trash. Just items.

Janet is wearing a vest. I don't know why, but vests seem like something a hoarder should wear. Vests and knock-off crocks.

She's starting off great! See how long this lasts...oh not even until I was done typing that.

This lady is back on track. She's a good egg.

Hoarding expert just said exactly the same thing I did earlier. Janet doesn't have trash. She has stuff. Fuck. I am a god damned hoarding expert. I knew I could be!

Her house really is pretty once it's all clean. Oh Janet. I knew you had it in ya. She even has a fancy pool! Wow.

Christina, 55-A god damned psychologist!

She's out there treating people. I wonder if she always advises them to, "never throw anything away ever."

She has illnesses. Arthritis and asthma and something else. She says she CAN'T clean because it stirs up more allergens. Her doctor is vouching for this. What in the world is wrong with doctors in whatever area they are living in?! Get your healthcare in the neighboring city! These PHDs are a wreck.

She was counseling soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. Something happened. She said the system was messed up and there was betrayal. She was stripped of her medical credentials.

The weird bow in her daughter's hair is bothering me.

She wakes her daughter up with a bamboo sick! She can't fit through the doorway so she pokes that stick at her.

This other friend of hers is blaming it all on paranormal experiences! He hypnotized her. Said he saw a little boy. Seriously, this woman is surrounding herself with the most messed up friends.

Another freaking bow in her daughter's hair! That is not the look.

This lady is unpleasant. She's all negative and unpleasant. What does she say to her patients? I feel so bad for them. This woman is a terror.

She's been in the living room for 4 hours straight. She's mean as crap to her daughter. Her daughter with the questionable hair accessory choices.

Debbie Downer. That's what this lady is.

4 comments:

Gary's third pottery blog said...

good lord, the hair accesories too???

Reverend Awesome said...

That's right! We cover it all here!

Becky Jo said...

Oh no.. just what the world DOES NOT need.. another Debbie Downer.

Kudos to Janet for not having actual poop on her floor, just 'stuff'... KB, maybe you should inquire about employment with 'Hoarders'... it might pay more than your current job.

Reverend Awesome said...

I agree, Becky. I am getting tired of Debbie Downers. They are trying to convert the world to Debbie Downer-dom.

I might have to look into that.

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