Saturday, October 17, 2009

WWKD? Not get VD.

(Click to enlarge. For the love of god please read this.)

Alright..girl I worked with is leaving messages for me at establishments she knows I frequent. I no longer work with this girl but I never succumbed back in the day because sleeping with co-workers invariably bites you in the ass. Anyway. it's no longer the case. Girl is leaving messages for me (in case I come in) at businesses she knows I frequent. The majority of bones in my body are screaming that she's insane. She has things on her side, for one, she's beautiful. So I a clueless asshole missing out on many afternoons of great sex or should I find out whats involved in obtaining a restraining order? What else..I'm single so there are no cheating issues involved. I don't have a pet rabbit so there won't be any enactions of Glenn Close scenes. I'll also add that the chick dates around and i'm not too fond of venereal diseases..hence my reticence.Hmm maybe I need to get my testosterone checked because i'm already thinking i'm a dumbass and should just cave...Anyhow..lets hear it.

Yikes. Girl sounds like a big bowl of nuts as hell. If she's acting like the Mayor of Crazy Town prior to doing it what sort of things do you think would happen if you guys did it? No good could come of that. Why is she leaving messages for you at places you frequent? Has she not heard of telephones, texting, facebook, email, not being a giant weirdo?

Allow me to reference a book about venereal disease that the war dept. gave out during WWII. It seems appropriate at this juncture.

You don’t need sex relations to be strong.

VD may ruin your health and home.

You can’t tell what girl is infected.

A girl who’ll let you use her is probably infected.

If you can’t stay away from women use prophlaxis

Nine out of ten men who get vd failed to use prophylaxis.

If you get VD get good treatment.

So yeah. My advice is don't sleep with her. Crazy might seem fun and exciting at first, then your wiener gets cut off.
If you're ready to be done with being single seek out a normal human.

Good luck, soldier.


Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

WIENER CUT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reverend Awesome said...

Sometimes my advice is painful to hear. I apologize for any mental anguish that it causes.

j said...

lol Thanks for the reply. I have no aspirations to be the next John Wayne Bobbitt. She doesn't have my ph. number by purposeful design. She's always been crazy. The reason I waver is because she's not just beautiful..she's gorgeous. Picture Kate Bush with curves..also with the English accent.
I don't do facebook, Yes , you've actually run across someone who isn't a fan of the cult.I'm not a ludite, the cons just outweigh the pros. However, I am just human and girls understand if you don't call them back after spending a weekend in some out-of-the way motel, right?
I assume you realize i'm being semi-facetious. It's all true but i'm probably not going to go through with it. She wants more than casual, and as much as I seem derisive about her..I actually like her..just don't ever see myself loving her and i'm not going to do that to her. Maybe I do have a soul. So, are you amenable to future queries? Handy to have access to a feminine opinion when I know that anything I mention to my real-life female acquaintances has no chance in hell of remaining private.

Reverend Awesome said...

Oh yes. Ask away.

Yes. Best not to toy with the emotions of someone that is teetering on the edge of crazy.

If you like her and will never love her and you are aware those are her wants, don't sleep with her. That would be decidedly dickish and you just admitted to having a soul.

gary rith said...

sh!t, English accent????????????????? NOBODY can resist that even if they have gnarly teeth and VD

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