Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Paranoia and Me

All this talk of new clothes/new look had me thinking of a meltdown I had a few (around 6) years back.

I was going to school. The show "What Not to Wear" was super popular and, as per usual, I was dressing less than fashionable.

It started with a teacher mentioning the show to me. He asked, "have you seen the show What Not To Wear?" and then someone else mentioned the show to me. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?! Are they dropping hints, interested in discussing television with me or was I on freaking hidden cameras?!

I told my Mom. "We need to go shopping. I need to get some normal clothes. I'm an adult." My Mom was all for it. To the mall we went. I hate shopping. Hate it. My Mom will just KEEP looking at racks even after I have decided that all the material is too gross to me. She won't stop looking. Maybe that's what it takes to be a shopper. Anyways. Store after store. No luck. I was even trying shit on! Trying clothes on is a step I tend to skip. (What Not to Wear always says to just try things on) I was picking out things I wouldn't normally wear. There is nothing in this world made for me!

This shopping excursion ended at Target. I figured they should have semi-normal clothes. I tried things on and blah. I came out and said, "Mom just tell me if the cameras are on me" I hadn't told her all of my fears about being on the show but she was about to find out. "What?" Then it happened. I began talking to hidden cameras that weren't there. "Do you guys see how hard I looked? I'm trying!" Tears welling up in my eyes. "Mom, just tell me if I'm on What Not to Wear!" She decided we could go ahead and stop shopping.

6 comments:

Becky Jo said...

Oh no! KB... shopping is horrible. I'm sorry your fear of that retarded effin' show has actually tainted shopping even more for you.

I have an idea. We (two non-shoppers) should go shopping together. Maybe without the pressure from a 'real' shopper, the entire experience would be less stressful. :)

Reverend Awesome said...

It's a tragic tale of me being captain crazy pants!

We should go shopping together. That just might work!

Becky Jo said...

You say when and where, lady.. I'll show up with chocolate and anti-anxiety meds for both of us. :D

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

I was thinking, Becky Jo, a few Kc-itos and a couple of credit cards and shopping would be fun for you 2 :)

Becky Jo said...

Hey G... are you gonna send those credit cards FedEx or standard snail mail? ;)

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

ho ho ho! Sure thing!

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