Tuesday, September 29, 2009
The time has come for my myspace account to be deleted. It's clogging the internet with stupidity. I figured I would post some 2 year old myspace blogs here for posterity and a couple pictures worth keeping.
Very Serious Question
So someone asks you where one would go about finding hookers and coke. this person says it's all hypothetical. Do you believe them?
Beef Tongue: A Food for The Ages
As i am always one to follow Kari's requests of me, I must now write a blog about beef tonue. i have never had beef tongue and don't plan on ever having it. I'm not certain where one would even go about purchasing beef tongue, I bet they sell it at European foods or maybe the southside wal-mart.
The one good thing i can tell you about beef tongue is that to hear of it makes me think of Kari and our times together. How we won at touchplay lottery machines, drank and hated things. Oh great times.
If heath and I had myspace at work I bet he would write a beef tongue haiku. Perhaps I should attempt one in his honor.
beef tongue is pukey
afeni shakur hates it
black panthers are sweet
Treats and Dick
Heath and I saw Dick Cheney on our way to super target for lunch. He was in town making everyone's lunch hour and interstate travel a miserable time. I'm sure he was off to spread more miserable time wherever he was going. I think to Camp Dodge. People hate to have fun there so he should fit in just fine.
We got a Rice Krispy Treat the size of a brick for a dollar. It's delicious and almost gone.
I got caught coming out of the men's rest room with Heath today. It was on the other side of the building and we were "shower investigating." We found them! They're so gross. People have all their toiletries in there and it's just disgusting. I think the lady (using the term loosely) that caught me coming out of there also spends most of her time in there so she better not go around spreading rumors about me.
I went to the movies with my mom last night and it was like hanging out with a movie star.
First we played air hockey because we got there a half hour early. She beat me mercilessly, 7-2. She didn't brag though cuz she's a pretty classy lady. Kids came up and were like MOM groupies, kids from her school. Then we got in line for popcorn and MORE people knew her. Then we get in the theater and she sees more people she knows and wanted desperately to throw popcorn at them. I told her maybe it would be best if she just said their name since the movie hadn't started. She did neither. Oh and we got our photo taken in one of those little booths and more people came up and knew her.
If you've read Heath's blog you will know that we were in the presence of stranger-nudity this weekend. Flasher's friend was giving someone an outside the pants hand-job on the dance floor. We went to a party at a bar that was meant for sluts. There were indeed a lot of sluts there. We enjoyed some delicious cake and Heath saved me from an old man.
A girl laid herself out the steps in front of the bar waiting for someone to just do it with her. No one did so she finally had to leave. I assume to try to find a bar where the men were drunker.
Matt left me words of the day. I've been trying to use them a lot. Since all the days that I was supposed to use them have passed I'm furiously trying to catch up. I think using big words makes me seem smart and impresses people.
Let me give you an example of one of my big words used in a sentence.
I don't like when strangers nictitate at me. I enjoy people I know nictitating me.
While binding books today Heath and I discovered that biology teachers think it's ok to call kids fat or proclaim their future fatness. Have any of you had any bad biology teacher run-ins?
I've been pretty busy lately doing things like taking pictures of Heath and stuff. We did before and after haircut pictures. They turned out spectacular. This would be a good time for me to learn how to do that photobucket thing or whatever but learning is hard.
TONIGHT EVERYONE WATCH DATELINE NBC!!!! Sexual Predators!! I would like everyone that reads this blog to watch it and let's talk about it tomorrow.
It's on at 8 central/standard time. A guy gets naked! That much I know. He just comes in and gets naked. They always leave cookies out. I hope he also eats cookies!
I was tagged to blog by Heather and also Heath and I try to blog daily so here are 6 Little Known Facts if by the end of this I can't think of 6 things well so be it.
I used to pull up weeds, replant them in paper cups and try to sell them to people like it was a lemonade stand. No one ever bought a weed but that didn't stop me from doing it over and over again. I don't know why my mom wouldn't stop me from doing such a thing. She was fully aware of what I was out there doing.
My favorite things to read usually have hot pink somewhere on the cover and I judge books by their covers.
I got a new bike this weekend at a garage sale. It's a red Schwinn and I put a basket on the back of it and got some bread last night for no other reason than to have something to put in my basket.
My first boyfriend broke up with me because I wasn't ready to kiss him. We went out a couple of days and held hands on the bus on the way home from school and he walked me home one night and asked me if I had ever kissed anyone. I told him "No, I'm not ready to yet" so he broke up with me. He used to wear a shirt with Homey the Clown on it.
When I was little I would sometimes want to say bad words. I didn't want anyone to ever catch me saying them so I would walk all the way across the street to the park, go behind some rocks say a bad word and go back home feeling guilty.
I bite the skin off of my fingers until they bleed. I would say it's a nervous habit but I also do it when I shower and I don't feel like I'm a nervous showerer which makes me think that my fingers are just delicious and I can not help myself.
Pharaohs and Being Polite
The food pyramid has indeed changed. I found a website devoted to the change. the lazy bastards just flipped it on it's side and think they performed some miracle.
My boss told me today i looked "kind of like a girl" i think that is something special. Most days I came in hoping I look like a cross between swamp thing and Ross Perot.
I think if people are going to set out candy in candy dishes, it should be decent candy. Not bizarro canadian candy, not orange cream starburst. Heath's boyfriend Michael gave me a Valentine's Day CD. It's terrific and it will be the new soundtrack to my life. it's called "Kid's Mix Hits" It's for kids who want to be whores one day.