Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Random Sampling of Awesome.

Sometimes it's fun to look back on emails Heath and I have sent each other. I bet all of you will find this fun too, if you're not a commie.

Here is a random sampling:

I should point out that I think she poops herself for lots of reasons.

I wouldn’t doubt the mark of the beast is somewhere on her body.

Ok. I already fucking appreciate myself.

I feel like all you and I do day-in and day-out is be awesome and try to make others realize it. It’s exhausting.

Please stop working on your sloppy artwork for a moment and review this chain of emails.

I feel like we should get a show of hands of people who would rather spend an hour with her or get punched in the face. I’ll bet it would be 85% punched in the face.

Yes, you wear blue eye shadow and call me sloppy. I will slap her right in her whore mouth.

This seems like it would be not fun.

I used to think that “donzerly” was a word in the national anthem. I thought the lyrics went, “by the donzerly light.” Turns out it was “by the dawn’s early light.”

It’s like we’re stocking up on hot sluts for the winter.

Like a dayshift hooker, I will be free in five minutes.

This I WILL NOT recover from.

She also looks like dirty underwear to everyone who encounters her.

He’s such a weird shape.

My dad was drinking a martini. Like a little lady!

I’m not a penis deferment instrument!

She clearly thinks you're Puerto Rican and nobility.

I’m damn near black.

She had other things to worry about. Like finding unavailable dick.

No faux sluts for us! No, sir.


Becky Jo said...

Wow... you have quite the office email chatter. Who is this woman you refer to... she's like an obnoxious mystery coworker that I'm probably better off not knowing.

Reverend Awesome said...

Yes, she's someone you're better of not knowing.

Mindless Jabber said...

Is the woman you're talking about pooping herself the one on Alli?

Reverend Awesome said...

No, it's not. Wow. We've got a lot of people shitting themselves.

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