Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What smells? Your life!

This was posted on my laundry room door a few months ago. So, it’s sort of old news but I don’t want my 5 followers (thank you, followers!) to grow bored of my blog. I went rummaging through old photos for blog-inspiration.

Our landlady does not give the handicapped the benefit of the doubt. She knows that the handicapped can be just as lazy as you son’s of bitches with the ability to walk. You’re all rotten, just like your life.

If I knew who was doing it I would have totally ratted them out. Such a snitch. I would even rat out the handicapped. I guess I’m like her in that way. No special treatment for the disabled.

This letter came as a big shock to me as she is such a good-natured lady. She just has no tolerance for filth. I wish she would write a letter addressing all the penises that get drawn in the elevator. I would love to see how she tells the peen-junkies to sort out their life.

Here’s how I think it should be worded:

Whoever is drawing the penises inside the elevator can just go ahead and knock it off! If you have a vagina and are suffering from some sort of phallus envy, head down to Liberty Gifts adult room. If you are an owner of a penis just be thankful that you can look at your own penis and don’t need to draw pictures to remember what one looks like. What?! Yes, I know what a penis looks like! What are you accusing me of? I did not draw the penis! God. It was probably that guy in the wheelchair. He's a known pervert and he's too lazy to take his garbage to the dumpster.

Remember this: It takes one to know one. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Boys don’t make passes at girls in glasses.


Becky Jo said...

Ha! Go landlady. To hell with that garbage crap. Did the offender stop putting their garbage in the laundry room? Did they come from some foreign country where 'laundry' means 'garbage'?

Captain Awesome said...

The dumping stopped. I haven't noticed any 4th floor foreigners but it's a possibility.
Who would have the audacity to use the laundry room as their own personal land fill after that letter?

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