Thursday, May 28, 2009

Places That NO ONE Should Go

Hello Readers! I went to Buck’s Party Bar so you won’t have to.






First off there was a cover. Sure it was only 5 dollars but it wasn’t like there was a band or anything the bar had to pay. It was paying for the pleasure of paying them for drinks. Whateva.

Our first stop was the sports bar side of the bar. There were a lot of a certain type of guy there. The type of guys that wear white baseball caps (preferably backwards), Affliction t-shirts and pump their fists in the air a lot. There was a UFC fight playing on all of the many TVs so they were in an especially fist-pumpy mood.

I figured there would be more excitement to witness on the other side of the bar. The side with the mechanical bull...

In my head I was picturing an Urban Cowboy sort of scenario. Some serious bull-riding, followed by romantic trailer park love. A real life Bud and Sissy. I couldn’t have been more off.

What I saw was awfully unhygienic. As you can see from the picture wearing a short dress didn’t stop ladies from riding the bull. There was a “reign” they could hold onto. Which fit directly into their vaginal area. In case you were wondering this reign was not getting cleaned after each ride. Hope you ladies enjoy your genital herpes!

The DJ booth was elevated. A few minutes after entering we heard him say, “Get so fucked up you can’t remember names of colors! Who’s coming with me?!” Eloquent.

After the UFC fight was over the other side of the bar was much more tolerable.

Basically Buc’s Party Bar is for the 30-50 year crowd that is looking for a night of “love” that will most likely be followed by a dose of penicillin.

Kung Fu Tap=2 Thumbs up
Buc’s Party Bar=Your thumbs better wear protection

10 comments:

Brenda Dickson said...

What is this comments?

I met my first two husbands at this bar. One of them was the DJ. He's the one who originally infected the mechanical bull.

That was acting. Thank you.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

There are times a person is grateful to find that he is an old married dude with a wonderful wife and a big night out is going to a laid back bar with free popcorn after work.....
sorta fascinating about the bull, though, really, in a nightmareish way...

Captain Awesome said...

Brenda, I applaud your acting. I am in awe of you talent and your charity work. Reading porn to the blind. How kind of you!

Gary, yes I too am a laid back bar kinda gal. It was interesting though. Sort of like an anthropological study.

Anonymous said...

i imagine the woman on the bull with the sash was a bride-to-be. i only hope her husband-to-be was the dj.

Captain Awesome said...

The bride wore...well I don't remember what color she wore I was so fucked up!"

Becky Jo said...

Oh lord. I'm glad you went and spared me the horrific enviroment that would have probably sent me running for the hills, or at least the exit. I do not enjoy trashy girls showing their undies. I went to Miss Kitty's once and one of Brian's ex's was dancing on the bar in a miniskirt. I'm glad he's not with Trashy Skirt Girl anymore.
I'm not sure I've ever drank enough to forget colors, or show my undies in public... thus avoiding the need for penicillin.

Captain Awesome said...

I feel like this place is Miss Kitty's sluttier sister (and we all know how slutty Miss Kitty is!)
I'm glad he's not with trashy skirt girl too! For one we wouldn't be getting ice cream on Saturday!
I like to spend my days VD free!

Becky Jo said...

Amen, sister. Amen. Hey... did you check out the kick a$$ mug that Gary sent me?! I'm drinking choc milk right now out of my fancy new mug.

Captain Awesome said...

I haven't yet. I will immediately! I was watching rec. softball.

Mindless Jabber said...

Oh, God, that picture of the stupid chick on the bull is pure brilliance! Who knew how well you captured it...not to mention, the sneak attack you used to get a picture of the Kelly Bundy wannabe!

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