Monday, May 11, 2009

Batteries


This weekend I noticed that “Married With Children” was on. I decided to watch it since I had recently written an email with some lyrics to the theme song as the title.

Do you remember how Peg would always reference not needing Al just needing some more batteries? I never understood when I was younger that this was a reference to a vibrator. I knew it had something to do with sex but I thought she (to put it bluntly) stuck batteries up her vagina. I didn’t get why someone would do that but I wasn’t an adult so, whatever. You know how crazy grown-ups are. I’m glad that’s all mentally sorted out.

There were a lot of things I didn’t pick up on as a child. The condom on Howard the Duck, I thought it was a counterfeit, paper coin (obviously). Also, never got that it was strange that a human and a duck were doing it. I think that was maybe because I had a crush on Howard.

This is also why I think it’s stupid how parents are all upset about the Sponge Bob Square pants commercial. Do you really think your kids get it? Do you think that your kids know their original lyrics about his anaconda? If so that’s your own damn fault. Kids just think it’s silly square butts. I know one thing that kids like, saying the word “butt”

My brother and I used to do “butt dudes” into the pool. What is a butt dude? It’s when you jump into the pool and slap your butt on the way in, of course. Anyways, it had the word “butt” in it so clearly it was the most fun thing ever. Another “Thank you” to my mom for consistently acting impressed when we did them. You’re the best!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ha, like my OPP i understand the missing of the battery talk.
i want, no need, to watch howard the duck! it's been too long. and all i can recall is the theme song! and picture a duck in a tub
me, eva

Captain Awesome said...

Yes. All of us little kids singing how we were down with OPP...the thought is horrifying actually. We didn't know though!
We couldn't help how gross we were being.

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